Door
by ZS Fan
Summary: He realized his feelings for her were purely platonic. She knew he had not written the song for her. Based on the Drama CD on Yamato, 'Tegami'. Slight YamatoOC. Past Sorato, eventual Taito.
1. The Girl

_Alright, this goes out to all the Taito fans who listened to Yamato's Drama CD. It's gonna be Taito eventually of course, so if you're not a Taito fan what are you doing here?_

_Haha kiddin' ;) Of course you're welcome to read this as well. Ultimately, this is a story about Yamato and the relationships he has with the people he cares about. It's my own take on the Drama CD, 'Tegami'. I guess you could call it an introspective piece. My inspiration was Yamato's song, 'Tobira', or 'Door'. Hence the title._

**Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon or the Drama CD, 'Tegami'.**

* * *

><p>Sometimes, he would go to the beach. Sometimes, he would make his way down to the sea, closing his eyes as the cool wind blew across his face.<p>

He had met her there. It was one of those times, during evening. The sun was setting, the last fading rays illuminating her slender figure, playing on her long brown hair like the wind toyed with her brown strands.

He had looked up, and had been about to approach her when she lifted a musical instrument to her lips. It was a flute, and he watched as a smile curved her lips and she began to play a soft, lilting melody.

It had been almost surreal, standing there in the cool evening air, being the one to listen to someone else's music. He watched silently, his eyes not on the setting sun for once but on this mysterious, beautiful stranger.

Her flute's melody flowed through the wind, the notes dancing across, away to the far reaching blue sea. It lulled him into a state of peace and serenity, yet he could not bring himself to close his eyes.

She ended her song with a pleasantly high drawn out note. He watched as she lowered her flute, then raised her gaze to the orange evening sky, a beautiful smile on her lips.

He could have fallen for her at first sight then.

As it was, he found himself approaching her. She seemed to sense his presence for she turned and regarded him with that same beautiful smile.

"Well," she spoke first. Her voice was soft. "You don't often see anyone else down here."

"You don't." He agreed. He smiled, and took a step closer to her, "That was a beautiful melody you played."

"Thank you." She said, and she didn't avert her gaze. He noticed her eyes were blue, like his. But unlike his, hers were the color of the morning sky, while his were the color of the sea and perhaps the night-

He shook his head then, quickly getting rid of the thought. He focused his attention back on the girl in front of him, and walked casually to stand beside her, "You like the sea?"

"I love it," she replied, and she turned, smiling softly as she looked into the far distance, "It's very relaxing."

He looked at her, and noticed she had her eyes closed. She seemed to be aware of his gaze on her and she opened her sky blue eyes, smiling up at him. He noticed she was almost as tall as him.

"My name's Shizuka," she said, holding out her hand, tilting her head slightly, that smile still on her lips, "What's yours?"

"Yamato." He replied, and reached out to clasp her hand. He wondered if she would recognize him. Shizuka- it suited her. He now knew her name, as she knew his.

But she just shook his hand and said, "Nice to meet you, Yamato-kun," she looked up into the evening sky, and said, "It's getting late."

"It is."

She withdrew her hand and he allowed her to. She regarded him with bright blue eyes and an apologetic smile. "I'm afraid I have to return home." She told him.

"That's understandable," he replied, giving her a reassuring smile, "Do you want me to walk you home?"

"It's alright," she reassured him. She held her flute carefully in her hand as she turned, "I live quite near here."

There was something in her voice he couldn't recognize, but it soon faded from his mind as she said, "Well, bye Yamato-kun," she waved at him. "It was nice meeting you."

He smiled and waved to her as she made her way up the beach.

"Yeah."

* * *

><p>"Hey."<p>

He had brought along his guitar this time and he smiled as he walked on the sand towards her.

"Oh, it's you Yamato-kun." She seemed happy to see him.

Yamato took note of the time on his watch, then moved to sit beside her on the sand near the shore. "Just Yamato is fine." He said. "You don't mind my company, do you?"

"Not at all." She replied cheerfully. "I'm glad to have someone to watch the sea with."

He smiled and moved his hands to his guitar, and her sky blue eyes blinked. "You play the guitar?"

"Yeah," he replied. She looked at him and he smiled and began to strum the chords, humming.

She was soon humming with him. He turned his gaze to her and she said slightly sheepishly, "I know the song. It's one of my favorites."

He was so surprised he almost stopped playing. "It is?"

"Uhuh." She had stretched her legs out towards the sea, and she swung them lightly, "It's Hitoriboochi no Seesaw by the Teenage Wolves, right?"

"Yeah," he said, unable to help feeling disappointment in him. He looked down, strumming a few more chords. "Are you a fan of them?"

"Fan…I wouldn't say so," she said contemplatively. He raised his gaze to her curiously, "I just love their music. But I don't know much about them."

Well, that was new. "I see." He said.

"I love your music."

He stopped playing. "What?"

She turned to him, her blue eyes shining. "I love your music." She said, shyness but also honesty in her voice. "I've always wanted to tell you this in person."

He was almost too surprised to speak. "You know who I am?"

"Your voice sounded familiar," she said sheepishly, "And when you started humming, I realized…"

"Oh."

"I just wanted to tell you that." She said softly. She looked up at him, "Thank you for creating such beautiful music, Yamato."

He wasn't quite sure how to respond to that, and felt slightly glad when she continued, "Will you…do me the honor of playing a duet with me?"

He blinked. He turned his gaze to her flute in her hand, but nodded. "Sure." He had never heard any of his songs played on the flute before.

She beamed and brought her flute to her lips. She looked at him, and he said, "You can start first."

And she did. She started off slowly, the high notes of her flute echoing into the sea air. He soon followed soon after with his guitar, strumming lightly and making sure not to override the lovely melody.

They sat there by the sea for a while, just the two of them, playing the flute and the guitar, creating music. It was so relaxing it almost made him forget all about his problems for the moment, and almost made him forget the origin of the song as he sang.

She ended on a low note with his voice, and he strummed the ending chords, a sad smile on his lips. He struck the last note softly, and listened as it echoed lightly into the cool air.

"That song is so beautiful," he heard her say. "Did you write it for someone?"

"Yeah." He replied softly.

"They must be very lucky then."

She didn't question him, and he was glad for it. "Hey, Yamato…can you teach me how to play the guitar?" He heard her ask almost shyly, "If you don't mind, that is…I've always wanted to learn how to play the guitar."

"Sure." He found himself replying as he looked into her sky blue eyes. He was glad for a distraction, but she couldn't have known that.

He lifted the guitar and placed it carefully onto her lap. She smiled at him and nodded, and he carefully took hold of her hands. They were soft, and he placed her fingers gently on the strings.

"Playing a flute is quite different from playing the guitar. First, you'll have to learn how to play the chords…"

* * *

><p>"You're a pretty fast learner."<p>

"Ah…thanks." She said softly. "I used to watch my brother play the guitar."

He smiled, and leaned back, staring up at the sunset sky, "It's late. You should go home."

"Ah!" She exclaimed in surprise and he grinned slightly, "We lost track of time!"

"Here," she lifted his guitar with her soft hands and handed it to him carefully with a smile, "Thanks for teaching me, Yamato!"

He blinked, and she leaned forward to place a kiss on his cheek. He blinked when she withdrew, and said dazedly, "No problem, Shizuka."

She grinned at him and turned and sprinted up the beach with her flute, leaving him sitting on the sand, a hand to his flushed cheek.

* * *

><p>Neither of them knew why the other was at the beach, but they grew closer every time they met. He found himself coming to the beach earlier every day. Soon he was smiling every time he approached her. Sometimes, he would lean down to kiss her cheek before he sat beside her on the shore, usually with his guitar.<p>

But this time, he didn't have his guitar. He brought with him something-someone else.

"Oh, hello!" She greeted cheerfully, her cheeks pink in the setting sun. "And who might you be?"

"I'm Gabumon." His partner said, surprise in his voice.

"Oh! You're the one Yamato was telling me about," he watched with a smile as she smiled at his digimon, moving the cups of shaved ice to one hand and reaching out her free hand, "It's nice to meet you, Gabumon!"

"Nice to meet you, Shizuka." Gabumon shook her hand with his paw.

"Here, let me help you with that," Yamato said as he took the cups of shaved ice.

"Ah, thanks!" She told him gratefully, then grinned, "Oh, one of them is for you."

Yamato blinked. "Oh thanks." He said, surprised.

"You can give the other one to Gabumon- I'll just go get another one!" She told him cheerfully, then got up and made her way up the beach.

"Uh." Yamato said. He and Gabumon looked at each other, then grinned.

"She wasn't surprised at all."

"Yeah." Yamato said. He handed one of the cups of shaved ice to Gabumon, a look of bemusement on his face, "Here. She said this was for you."

Gabumon grinned and reached out his paws for the cup of shaved ice, digging into it and bringing the colorful ice to his mouth. "Delicious!"

"Isn't it?" The brown haired girl had returned with her own cup of shaved ice. She turned and smiled at him, "You should eat yours too, Yamato!"

"Ah, yeah." Yamato said, and moved to pick up the spoon, bringing the ice to his mouth. He smiled. "Mmm. Not bad."

"So Shizuka, how did you and Yamato meet?" Gabumon asked as the three of them sat together by the sea.

"Oh, we just met one day," Shizuka replied cheerfully as she bit delicately into her shaved ice, "I was playing the flute, and noticed he was there."

"I approached her and told her that was a beautiful melody she had played." Yamato said, smiling at her. She smiled back at him.

"Ah…" Gabumon said as he looked between the two of them. "Hey, Shizuka…"

"Yes?"

Yamato smiled as he listened to Gabumon and Shizuka talk. He seemed intrigued by her, and she was happy to answer any of his questions. The atmosphere was a quiet and relaxing one, and he relished in it.

"So, why do you come to the beach?" Gabumon asked curiously. He paused. "I know why Yamato comes to the beach, but why do you?"

"I find it very relaxing," Shizuka smiled as she looked up into the sky at the seagulls chirping, "I feel very peaceful at the beach. It's quiet and it has a nice atmosphere."

Gabumon blinked, then gave Yamato a look as if to say, _"She's like you."_ Yamato just shrugged.

His phone vibrated then, and he raised an eyebrow. Yamato reached a hand into his pocket, taking out his phone. "Excuse me." He muttered when he saw the caller ID. "Hello?"

"Taichi," Yamato narrowed his eyes, "Why are you calling?"

"Huh, school?" Yamato frowned as he listened to the brunette on the other line, "Whatever, I'm busy right now."

"No…yeah…no," Yamato shook his head as Shizuka and Gabumon stared at him. "I'm fine! Yeah I am. No you _don't _need to come here. Yeah. Bye."

"Who was that?" Shizuka asked when Yamato put down the phone. "Your girlfriend?" She teased.

Yamato grimaced, "Not at all," he replied tersely. "He's just my best friend."

Gabumon looked at him, and Shizuka said in concern, "Are you two having an argument?"

"Something like that." Yamato muttered, not at all happy that Taichi had called. Why had he, anyway?

"Ah!" Gabumon said suddenly, and Yamato and Shizuka blinked. "It's going to rain!"

"Shit," Yamato said when he saw the seagulls flying in from the sea. "Looks like there's going to be a storm."

"We better go back," Shizuka said quickly. They raised themselves from the sand and she turned to them, "Don't worry, my house isn't too far from here."

"That's a relief." Yamato said as they walked up the beach. The man at the shaved ice stand was packing up too. "You wouldn't mind?"

"Of course not," Shizuka reassured him. She smiled at him, and waved her hand towards the front.

"Come on, let's go before the rain gets us."

* * *

><p>They spent the rest of the day at Shizuka's house. Her mother was a nice woman, but Yamato still made Gabumon stand absolutely still when she entered Shizuka's room. She smiled and served them drinks, and he thanked her.<p>

"It isn't often that Shizuka brings a guy home!" She had joked cheerfully as she regarded him with bright eyes, "And a handsome one too!"

"She must really like you!"

"Mother!" Shizuka exclaimed indignantly as Yamato flushed, embarrassed. He glowered at Gabumon, who seemed like he was about to grin.

"Sorry sweetie, I couldn't resist," her mother winked at them, then moved to depart, "Well, have fun you two!"

"S-Sorry…" Shizuka said awkwardly when her mother had left, blushing.

"Eh, it's alright," Yamato brushed off, looking to the side.

"Well-ah!" Shizuka gasped suddenly in pain, a hand to her eye.

"What's wrong?_!_" Yamato shot forward in concern.

"N-Nothing, it's just… my eye," Shizuka muttered, "Um…could you pass me that box on the table?"

Yamato didn't need to be told twice. He darted to the table and quickly picked up the brown box, making his way to her side. "Can I help you with anything?"

"No it's fine…" Shizuka managed a smile at him, "Excuse me for a moment…"

She took the box from him, thanking him then standing up and making her way to the bathroom. The door closed softly beside her, and Yamato stared, then turned his gaze to Gabumon, who was now mobile, blinking his red eyes.

"What happened?"

"I don't know." Yamato confessed. He sighed, and moved his gaze to the closed door.

"I hope she'll be alright."

* * *

><p>"Sorry…" Shizuka apologized when she emerged from the toilet. Her sky blue eyes were slightly red and she blinked them, looking abashed. "The truth is, I have an eye disease. I can't really…see clearly."<p>

"Eye disease?"

Shizuka nodded, and advanced towards Yamato and Gabumon. "Um…I was born with it, and I've had to take medicine since I was young," she said quietly, "Or I might become blind one day."

"That's terrible!" Gabumon voiced the shocked Yamato's thoughts.

But Shizuka just smiled, "I'm used to it." She said simply. "My parents have been thinking of having me undergo an operation…" she trailed off.

"_Isn't that dangerous?"_ Yamato thought, but didn't want to make her uncomfortable. He shook off his surprise and smiled at her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder, "It's alright," he reassured. "I'll be here for you."

"Me too!" Gabumon piped up.

"Thanks Yamato, Gabumon." Shizuka smiled gratefully at them, her sky blue eyes shining. Who knew such pretty eyes held a terrible disease? Appearances were indeed deceiving.

They passed the time listening to music and listening to Shizuka play her flute. Gabumon wanted to try once and she generously allowed him, and Yamato couldn't help but grin when his digimon failed miserably at producing the beautiful music Shizuka had as Shizuka laughed lightly.

Gabumon pouted, "I don't understand why I can play your harmonica but I can't play this flute!"

"You play the harmonica?" Shizuka asked him in surprise.

"It was a long time ago," Yamato shrugged, "When I hadn't learnt the bass guitar."

"Really? Will you play it for me sometime?" Shizuka asked hopefully.

"Sure." Yamato agreed. How could he disappoint her? "My skills are probably lacking though."

Shizuka beamed at him, and he smiled at her, making a mental note to bring his harmonica along the next time.

The door opened then, and they turned their attention to where Shizuka's mother was at the door, "Dinner's ready," she informed them with a smile, "Will you be joining us, uh…"

"Yamato."

"Yamato-kun it is. Will you be joining us for dinner, Yamato-kun?"

"Nah, it's fine," Yamato said as he stood up with a smile, "I'll be cooking my own dinner at home."

"You can cook?" Shizuka's mother asked in surprise. She looked pointedly at Shizuka, "A guy who's handsome and who can cook- he's a pretty good catch!"

"Don't say that, mother! It's embarrassing!"

"Why thank you." Yamato smiled charmingly, and he could almost swear he could see stars in her eyes.

"W-Well, we shouldn't keep you then!" Shizuka's mother said, and moved away from the door. She looked at Shizuka.

"I'll show you out." Shizuka said as she stood up and moved forward. Shizuka's mother smiled and made her way across the landing.

"It's alright," Yamato told her with a smile. He looked at Gabumon, who nodded at him.

"I'll go through the window." He then smiled sheepishly at Shizuka, "I don't want to frighten your parents."

"Well, bye," Yamato gave Shizuka a wave as he stepped out onto the landing, "I'll see you at the beach the next time?"

"Or you could come to my house," Shizuka said. He blinked at her and she flushed, "Um…I-I mean…"

"I would like that," Yamato smiled at her. Gabumon was climbing through the window and he turned, "See you."

"Bye, Yamato."

Yamato smiled. He closed the door softly and made his way down the stairs. He came to the dining room, and bowed politely to Shizuka's parents. "Thank you for having me over."

"It's a pleasure, Yamato-kun." Shizuka's mother said cheerfully.

"You're welcome." Her husband nodded.

Yamato bowed again, then straightened, smiled at them, and turned around to make his way to the door. He could hear Shizuka's mother telling her husband about how Shizuka was so lucky to have found him.

His phone vibrated as he stood up after putting on his shoes. Yamato slipped a hand into his pocket and took the device out, frowning as he read the message.

**Yamato, I'm so sorry! I know I've been an idiot. I know you're angry at me but you just don't want to say it. That's why you've been skipping school and avoiding me, right?**

Yamato scoffed.

**Anyway, I didn't mean it. I'm just worried about how everyone else would react, you know? I mean, our close friends might accept it, but what about our families?**

Yamato gritted his teeth, and forced himself to scroll down the message.

**You understand, right Yamato? So…can we talk sometime? We can go to Kyoto, I know you love it there. Please reply me.**

Yamato narrowed his eyes. Resisting the urge to throw his phone down on the ground, he punched the buttons on his phone with deft fingers as he advanced forward.

"Yamato?"

_Taichi. You must understand why I stopped dating Sora. You must understand what I've gone through. At least, I thought you understood._

_I'm not sure if this is even worth it anymore. I need time to figure this out. Don't reply this message._

It was blunt and straight to the point, and might hurt Taichi. But Yamato didn't care. Taichi had hurt him.

"Yamato, are you alright?" Gabumon questioned as he walked beside his fuming partner. "You look…angry."

"I'm fine." Yamato gritted out. He shoved his phone into his pocket roughly.

"Are you sure?"

Yamato turned his narrowed gaze to his digimon. He looked at the concern in Gabumon's eyes, and sighed. "Yeah." He could really use some shaved ice right now.

Shoving his hands into his pockets, Yamato advanced forward into the darkness, Gabumon trotting along worriedly beside him.

He resolved to not attend school for the rest of the week.


	2. The Letter

_**Hey Yamato, are you alright? We haven't seen you in school for the entire last week. You aren't sick, are you?**_

He'd thought the message was from Taichi at first, and was about to delete it when he saw the next words.

_**Anyway, Taichi's been talking about you. He says you never reply his messages. He seems really discouraged.**_

_**Really, is everything fine, Yamato? You know you can tell me, right? I don't blame you for breaking up with me. I know that because of your parents, you believe you need love for a relationship to last. And you don't love me.**_

_**Because you love Taichi. And he loves you, Yamato. He really misses you. Please come back, alright? I'll be waiting for you.**_

Yamato exited the screen, staring at his phone with sombre dark blue eyes. Even Sora knew. Even Sora was aware of his experiences and understood. So why the hell didn't Taichi?

He didn't want to go to school today either, he wanted to visit Shizuka. And he didn't want to see Taichi.

But, Sora sounded worried. She was one of his closest friends now, and he knew she was genuinely concerned about him. Yamato sighed, and made his reluctant decision.

"Gabumon?"

"Yeah, Yamato?"

"I'm going to school today," Yamato said as he reluctantly got up from his bed. He looked at his digimon, moving to pack his bag and pocketing his phone. "Can you visit Shizuka for me?"

"Eh?"

"Tell her I'm sorry I can't visit her today," Yamato said. He scoffed as he threw his books haphazardly into his bag, "Because I have to go to _school_."

"Alright…" Gabumon said hesitantly. "Are you sure you're alright, Yamato?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine."

"Okay then…" Gabumon said. Yamato turned to look at him and he blinked, "Well, I guess I'll be going to Shizuka's house now."

"Check the beach first." Yamato called as his digimon walked out of the room.

Gabumon gave him a nod and exited the room. Yamato shoved the last book into his bag then slung his bag over his shoulder, crossing the room to his closet. He opened the doors, and let his bag down, stripping and changing quickly into his winter school uniform after he looked outside the window. He closed them with a bang then picked up his bag and guitar case nearby, making a mental note to wash his clothes when he came back as he pulled out his phone and typed a quick message to Sora, moving forward and flinging open the door.

"_I know. I'll be coming to school today."_

* * *

><p>"Yamato!"<p>

"Hey." Yamato greeted Sora as he walked towards her in the hallway.

She grinned at him, "I just saw your message." She said sheepishly.

"Is that so?" He said casually as he looked around. "Where's Taichi?"

"Ah," Sora sounded uncomfortable. "I think he didn't come to school today."

"Is he sick?"

She shook her head, "I don't think so." She said, and he had the feeling she was hiding something from him.

But he had no wish to push it, and didn't, "Well," he said, with a more relaxed smile. Perhaps attending school today wasn't such a bad idea. He gestured forward, "Shall we go?"

Sora nodded and they started forward, "So, how are things?"

"Nothing much, we've all just been worried about you," Sora said, looking up at him. "Taichi especially."

"Hmmm."

"Hey, is that Ishida?"

"It is! Hey, Ishida!"

"Akemi." Yamato said in slight surprise as his bandmate approached him.

"Yo Ishida, where have you been?" Akemi grinned widely at him, "We haven't seen you for a while!"

"Think just 'cause you're famous you don't need to practice?"

Yamato merely shrugged, "Sorry, I had a lot on my mind."

"Yeah well, you're alright now, right?" Akemi asked, smiling. Yamato nodded and he grinned, "Great! Coming for band practice today?" He looked at the guitar case on Yamato's shoulder.

"Sure."

"See you there then!" Akemi patted his shoulder, then turned, "You better not stand us up again, Ishida!"

"Yeah." Yamato replied with a smile as his two bandmates walked away.

"You haven't even been attending band practice?" Sora asked in surprise.

"I guess not," Yamato said. "I've been busy."

"With?"

"I've been going down to the beach," Yamato said casually as they walked along, "I met this girl there called Shizuka."

"Shizuka?"

"Yeah, I met her when she was playing the flute. She produces beautiful music." Yamato smiled at the memory, "We've grown close since then. I guess there at the beach, it lets me forget about everything else."

"I was supposed to visit her today," a tone of mild annoyance entered Yamato's voice. He sighed, "But since I couldn't, I sent Gabumon."

"She knows Gabumon?" Sora was surprised.

"Yeah, I introduced him to her. She didn't seem surprised at all." Yamato smiled fondly, "She's a really nice girl."

"So you and this Shizuka…you're just friends?"

"Maybe, maybe not," Yamato lifted his shoulders in a shrug. He looked at Sora, "Who knows, maybe we could be something more."

"But Yamato," Sora looked at him with disbelieving eyes, "What about Taichi_?_!"

"What about him? He doesn't even want to acknowledge our relationship," Yamato said crossly. He thrust his hands into his pockets irritably, "I have no concern with him."

"But, you love him-"

"Maybe I don't anymore," Yamato cut her off coldly, narrowing his blue eyes, "Maybe he's been annoying me so much that I don't even want to see him. And maybe 'cause I haven't seen him for so long I don't love him anymore. Maybe I love Shizuka."

Sora stared at him for a while. "Yamato…how could you say that?" She asked quietly, her eyes sad, "Taichi would be heartbroken if he heard that."

"He's not here, is he?" Yamato shrugged off, looking away, "It doesn't matter."

"Then…you're going to pursue a relationship with someone you don't love?" Sora sounded close to tears, "That's not what you said to me."

Yamato's blue eyes softened. He sighed, and turned his gaze to Sora, "I'm sorry Sora, I didn't mean to upset you." He hesitated, before placing a hand on her cheek. "Don't cry."

Sora sniffed, and drew the back of her hand across her eyes, "I know," she said softly, "It's just…"

Yamato waited for her to compose herself. He looked at her when she removed her hand from her eyes, staring up at him. "You don't really mean that, do you?"

"I don't know." He said honestly. He let his hand fall away from her cheek, letting out a tired sigh. "I really don't know."

"Don't you think it's worth it?" Sora asked quietly.

"I don't know, Sora." Yamato repeated tiredly. "Can we not talk about this anymore?"

"Taichi thinks it's worth it." Sora pressed. He looked at her with an almost sharp gaze and she amended, "Alright, we won't."

_"He doesn't."_ Yamato thought resentfully, but kept his thoughts to himself. He inhaled, and changed the subject, "So, how are the rest doing?"

"They're doing fine," Sora smiled. "Koushiro's excelling in his studies as usual, Jyou seems to be coping well. Oh and I got an email from Mimi saying she's tired of the fashion industry and wants to pursue," she paused, "Cooking."

"Seriously?" Yamato said as he tried to imagine Mimi cooking.

"That was what she said," Sora shrugged, "She said she'll get Michael to help her, apparently he knows how to cook."

"I see." Yamato said thoughtfully. He smiled. "Well, good luck to her then."

Sora smiled at him. "What do you want to be in the future, Yamato?"

"I'm not sure. I guess I'll continue with my band. Hopefully we won't fade away like those other bands," Yamato said casually, his hands in his pockets as they walked along. "What about you, Sora?"

"Well, I'm not sure of that myself either," Sora confessed sheepishly, "I'd like to say I want to be a professional tennis player, but I'm not that good, not like Taichi is at soccer," she said, "Maybe I'll just continue helping my mother at her shop."

"Yeah, it's not like you can become a fashion designer like Mimi." Yamato said playfully and grinned as Sora glared and punched him lightly on the arm.

"Oh shut up."

Yamato laughed as they neared their classroom, for once glad of the school's spaciousness.

"Hey, Sora. Wanna hang out after school?"

Sora regarded him with amusement in her eyes, "Are you asking me out on a date, Ishida Yamato?"

Yamato grinned at her, "Maybe."

"How your feelings change," Sora joked back good naturedly as he put an arm around her shoulder, "Fine, I accept."

"Great, see you after school," Yamato smirked and dipped to kiss her cheek playfully. "It's a date then."

Sora hit his head lightly, but there was a smile playing across her lips.

"Whatever, Ishida."

* * *

><p>"Sorry Sora," Yamato apologized as they walked out of the school, "I forgot I had band practice."<p>

"It's alright," Sora said with a forgiving smile. She tilted her head to the side, "I enjoyed listening to your band's music."

"You have a really pretty voice, Yamato."

"I wouldn't say pretty," Yamato raised an eyebrow, smirking, "Sexy is more like it."

Sora rolled her eyes, "Ever the narcissist, aren't you?" She said fondly.

Yamato shrugged, "Want to go get something to eat?" He asked with a smile, "It's been some time since we ate at our favorite cafe."

"I'd like to, but it's late and I have a lot of homework to do today," Sora sighed, giving Yamato an apologetic look, "Sorry, Yamato."

"Hey it's alright." Yamato slung a friendly arm around her shoulders, smiling, "I'll walk you home alright? It's late."

Sora grinned at him, "Such a gentleman."

Yamato returned her grin, "Of course." He said smoothly.

It didn't take them long to reach Sora's house. "Thanks for today, Yamato. I've missed you." Sora said to him as they stood outside her door, "Will you be coming to school tomorrow?"

"Yeah." Yamato found himself saying.

"Great," Sora grinned at him, her eyes bright. She turned, and opened her door, "Well, I'll see you tomorrow then!"

"See you, Sora."

He watched as she entered her house, closing the door behind her, then proceeded to make his way to his own house, a smile on his lips as he slid his hands into his pockets. He had missed her too.

"Well…I guess I'll be going to school tomorrow."

* * *

><p>He ended up going to school for the rest of the week. It was nice, he supposed, to be back in school. Sure, there was homework-piles of them which included what he had missed, but there was also his bandmates and his friends. He had missed playing with his band, and he had missed his friends.<p>

Taichi was, surprisingly, absent from school for the entire week. Yamato had raised his eyebrows every time Sora informed him of Taichi's absence, but didn't question it. It worked well for him.

The only bad thing was that school and band practice kept him so busy he didn't have time to visit Shizuka. Though he knew she would understand, he felt guilty and resolved to visit her next week.

Yamato spent the weekend occupied with practicing his guitar and doing his homework, catching up on his studies. He met with his band on Sunday for some extra band practice, and hung out with them, making light banter and just enjoying each other's company. He spent Sunday night ransacking his room, causing Gabumon to look at him curiously.

"Where is that," Yamato growled as he pulled out another drawer, "Damn thing?"

"Yamato?"

"I knew I should have kept it safely somewhere…" the frazzled blond muttered as he rummaged in his drawers, "Wait, I did keep it safely, didn't I?"

"What are you searching for, Yamato?"

"My harmonica," Yamato replied without glancing back, "Do you know where it is, Gabumon?"

"Um…it's here?"

Yamato blinked. He turned around, and twitched when he saw Gabumon holding his harmonica in his paw, "You had it all along_?_!"

"Sorry!" Gabumon apologized guiltily, holding his paws up, "It's just, I wanted to create music too! And you've been so busy nowadays…" he hung his head.

Yamato sighed, and moved forward to take his harmonica from Gabumon. "Well, at least I've found it now."

"Are you angry with me, Yamato?"

"I'm not angry," Yamato smiled reassuringly as he patted his partner's furry head. He turned his gaze to his harmonica. "I was just worried I had lost this."

"Oh." Gabumon blinked. "You're visiting that girl- Shizuka tomorrow, right?"

"We are." Yamato corrected. He smiled and ruffled Gabumon's fur, then got up, yawning. "Well, I'm going to sleep. Goodnight, Gabumon."

"What about Maths homework?"

"Screw Maths homework, I'm too tired to think." Yamato scoffed as he slipped his harmonica into his bag. Gabumon looked at him as he walked to his bed and he sighed, "I'll do it in the morning, okay?"

"Okay." Gabumon nodded. "Goodnight, Yamato."

Yamato smiled. He slid into bed and pulled the covers over himself, closing his eyes.

"Goodnight, Gabumon."

* * *

><p>"Shizuka's not in." Shizuka's mother said the next day.<p>

"Oh." Yamato said. He smiled to hide his disappointment, then moved to turn. "Alright then, I guess I'll come tomorrow. Thank you."

"Wait!" She reached out to grab his arm and he blinked at her in surprise. She bit her lip, and he couldn't help but notice there was something different about her today. There was worry in Shizuka's mother's eyes, and it worried him as well.

"Yes?"

"Shizuka's not at home because…" she trailed off, shaking her head. She looked at him with a smile, but her eyes were sad, "You're a kind boy, Yamato-kun."

"Here…Shizuka said to give you this if you came along."

Yamato lowered his gaze to the cassette tape held out to him. "I see…"

"I'll…be going then." Yamato said slowly as he took the cassette tape from Shizuka's mother, a bad feeling rising up in him. "Goodbye."

She smiled at him, and he heard her melancholic voice as he turned and left with Gabumon.

"Goodbye, Yamato-kun."

* * *

><p>"She didn't notice me."<p>

"Yeah." Yamato said distractedly as he sat on the sofa. He pressed the play button on the remote control.

The screen buzzed to black and white. It was clear that the cassette tape was rather old. He saw only black and white for a moment, and he frowned, wondering if the tape was spoilt.

Then he heard something moving, and a familiar voice. _"Ah, ah."_

Shizuka sounded like she was clearing her throat. He heard background noises, like the sound of a notice, someone speaking in the background. _"Ahh…"_ Shizuka said, as if to test her voice, then cleared her throat again.

_"Dear Ishida Yamato-kun,"_ Yamato blinked at the formal address. _"How are you?"_

_"I'm- well-" _he heard her give a slight, sheepish laugh, _"Well, I'll survive."_

_"Thank you for visiting me the other day." _There was a mixture of gratefulness and shyness in Shizuka's voice, _"I enjoyed being able to talk with you, even if it was for a short while."_

He wouldn't have called that a visit- they had met many times at the beach after all. But he supposed she considered it as one if she was extending her gratefulness to him- he realized guiltily he hadn't gone to see her for practically a whole week.

_"It's a bit embarrassing for me to say that to you directly, so this is my letter of thanks – or rather, my cassette tape of thanks." _Shizuka giggled, and Yamato couldn't help but smile.

_"How are you doing in school?"_ Yamato looked at Gabumon, who blinked at him. _"Try not to spend so much time in band practice, or you'll turn stupid!"_

Gabumon nodded, and Yamato glowered at him. Gabumon sweatdropped, holding up his paws in a peace gesture.

_"But I suppose I shouldn't be saying that, since I haven't been attending high school these days myself…"_

_"Oh, right! Your friend stopped by the other day," _Gabumon and Yamato both turned their attention back to the screen, which was frustratingly still black and white. Yamato cursed the old cassette tape, but listened as Shizuka spoke, _"He's an interesting person! Is his name really 'Gabumon'? It's kind of funny in fact."_

Yamato smirked and shot Gabumon a smug look, and it was Gabumon's turn to glower at him. "My name's not funny!"

"Shizuka seems to think it is."

Gabumon pouted.

_"Anyway, I'm…at a hospital right now," _Yamato froze. He shifted his wide eyed gaze to the buzzing screen, _"I'm sorry I wasn't there when you came to visit me, Yamato-kun."_

"Hospital? Why?" Yamato's blue eyes widened at a sudden realization. _"_Could it be…"

_"I'm at the hospital because I have to undergo an operation on my eyes," _Shizuka's quiet voice sounded, almost eerily, _"My disease's gotten serious and my parents decided I should go for the operation-"_

Shizuka's voice was cut off, and Yamato was left staring at the blank screen with wide blue eyes. _"Hospital…her eyes…"_

"Yamato?"

Yamato shook his head. He stood up, and strode heavily to his room.

"Hey, Yamato! Yamato-" Gabumon winced as the door slammed in his face. He sighed, and raised his sympathetic gaze to the closed door.

"Yamato…"

* * *

><p>Yamato leaned against the door, his gaze on the floor. Slowly, he made his way to his guitar on the bed. He picked it up, bit his lip, and began to strum a sad, melancholic melody.<p>

He was soon interrupted by his phone ringing. He had no wish to talk to anyone right now. But something told him to answer the call and he scowled, removing his fingers almost roughly, causing the melody to stop abruptly as he snatched his phone out of his pocket. He frowned when he saw the caller ID. "Caller unknown. Who could it be?"

"Hello?"

Yamato blinked as Shizuka's voice sounded. He smiled. "Oh…no, I know. I was wondering for a second who it was…" how had she gotten his number?

"No, don't worry…" he placed his guitar carefully on the bed. "Yeah…yeah…"

The sound of a siren passing by almost drowned out Shizuka's quiet voice. Yamato bit his lip. "Is that all?" He said softly.

"…No, it's just, since you took the time to call me, I thought something big had happened…" Yamato felt a smile form on his lips. Perhaps the disease wasn't so serious after all.

_"Well, it is something big- I don't know if you received my tape- but, if the operation works, I'll be able to see clearly for the first time in my life." _Shizuka's cheerful voice sounded.

"Huh? Really? That's a relief!" Yamato found himself smiling genuinely in relief, He blinked. "Huh? …Oh… Yeah…"

_"Yeah, my parents want me to go for the operation, but they're letting me decide too," _Shizuka told him, _"My father's here with me, but I still can't decide."_

"You can't decide? Why?" Yamato felt worry begin to stir up in his heart. He tried in vain to brush it away.

He listened intently to the next words she spoke, _"To tell the truth…I'm scared because there's the possibility I'll go blind if the operation fails…" _he could hear the hesitance and fear in Shizuka's voice, _"But I guess, I'll still be able to play my flute-"_

"The possibility of- what do you mean?" Yamato cut her off anxiously, "Isn't the operation supposed to save your eyes?_!_"

_"It is, but every operation has its risks, Yamato-kun,"_ Shizuka said sadly, _"It isn't easy to operate on the eyes."_

"…Yeah…Yeah…" Yamato managed, feeling his grip on his phone slip. He inhaled, and tightened it. He got off the bed, walking to the door. "I see. So, what are you planning to do?"

There was a pause, a silence which was occupied by the loud sound of an airplane flying overhead, a sound which reflected Yamato's state of mind as he waited for Shizuka's answer.

_"I…"_ Shizuka's voice was small. _"I don't know."_

"…You don't know? But that's-"

Yamato blinked when there was the sound of the other end hanging up. "Hey!" He shouted in panic. He moved forward, throwing his door open, "…Hello? Hello?_!_"

Only silence greeted him, and it was a silence as heavy as his heart. Yamato stared. He lowered his phone, his mind barely registering the sound of Gabumon boiling the kettle. He gritted his teeth, hanging his head and squeezing his perfectly healthy blue eyes tightly shut, a single word slipping from his pale lips and drfiting away into the cold, stale air.

"…Why?"

* * *

><p><em>Wow this chapter is long. And next chapter is going to be long too 'cause it should have the scenes from the Drama CD...no idea when I can get it up. It'll be troublesome :. Have to check the translation again. Well, depends on the response I get, I guess. _

_So, please review? It'll really be of help and encouragement to me :) I've realized reviews encourage me to write, sometimes regardless of time. And I really do want to finish this fic, even if I don't know how long it's going to be..._

_So yeah. By the way the above scene is Yamato's flashback in the Drama CD, 'Tegami'. Not sure which part...3 or 4 I guess. You can find it on Youtube._


	3. The Sea

_This took ages to write, but I'm kind of proud of it. It's still long even though I tried my best to cut it down. What's left will follow Yamato's trail of thought. So I guess this chapter is basically the Drama CD in story form, along with the last scene in the previous chapter. Again, you can find it on youtube, it should start from Part 2 for this chapter. If you're not sure, feel free to ask ;) I spent a lot of time and effort on this (it's not exactly easy, even with the translation) so I really do hope you'll leave a review and tell me what you think, whether it's an anoymous review or not. Thanks for reading, and enjoy. I'd advise to listen to the Drama CD while reading it- it's kind of fun and cool when you read and hear Yamato's voice at the same time ;)_

* * *

><p>He didn't go to school the next day. Instead, he went out grocery shopping, came back home and played the cassette tape again after dumping the plastic bags on the couch, and proceeded to rip the paper which had held the tape to vent his anger and frustration. This time, he heard Shizuka's voice until the part where she talked about Gabumon, then it abruptly turned off. He had scowled, shrugged on his trenchcoat, picked up his guitar and left his house, Gabumon following him.<p>

There was only one place he would go- the beach. It was afternoon, but the sunlight was dim in winter. Yamato ignored the cold wind prickling at his skin like sharp needles, raising his gaze to the low clouds in the sky. The beach was almost entirely devoid of people, the steady rhythm of the waves the only sound besides his and Gabumon's quiet footsteps. He walked, until he stood before the sea.

Yamato settled himself onto a rock, opening his guitar case. He took his guitar out, positioned it on his lap and began to tune it.

"Are you going to play?" Gabumon asked curiously.

Yamato replied him by continuing to tune it, then strummed a series of chords.

"Good."

He continued to strum his guitar, eventually turning the chords into a song, as he sang wordlessly, Gabumon listening. He came to what he knew would be the chorus of the song, but then found himself unknowing of the next chords. He paused.

"Why did you stop?"

"No reason, Gabumon." Yamato replied, a tinge of annoyance in his voice at his digimon's persistence.

Gabumon didn't seem to be aware of his annoyance, "Yamato, look at this shell! Isn't it pretty?"

Yamato sighed.

"What's the matter? You're acting sort of weird today, you know…" Gabumon frowned at him, "Frowning deeply and being all silent and the like."

Didn't Gabumon know? Had he thought he would have recovered so fast from the shocking news conveyed to him yesterday?

"Sorry, but can you be quiet?"

There was a pause in which he didn't look at Gabumon. He heard Gabumon start to walk away from him.

"See, weird."

Yamato sighed again. He kept his guitar and closed his guitar case, rising to his feet. "We're going, Gabumon." He said irritably.

"Ah! Wait for me!"

They walked together, as the seagulls flew in the winter sky, seeming to cry out in the interlude between the waves crashing against the shore.

"It's pretty cold, Yamato."

Yamato frowned. Why was Gabumon so intent on conversation today? He didn't feel like talking at all.

"That's because it's winter."

"There's no one here but us, Yamato." Gabumon observed.

"That's because it's winter." Yamato repeated distractedly.

"It's quite a big place!"

"That's because it's winter."

"Look, there's a ship!"

"That's because it's winter."

"Are you even listening to me, Yamato?"

"Of course I am." Yamato replied immediately.

Gabumon made a thoughtful sound, and Yamato could feel his gaze on him. "Hey, Yamato."

"Hmmm?"

"Yamato!"

"What is it?"

"Where are we going?"

Yamato shrugged. "Nowhere."

"Eh?"

"The wind's pretty strong." Yamato said, lost in his thoughts.

"There's no point in walking then." Gabumon was almost whining.

"Do you hate walking?" Yamato asked tiredly. He was not at all in the mood for Gabumon's whining.

"Not really…" Gabumon sounded thoughtful.

"Then it shouldn't bother you."

"Hmmm…"

There was a blissful silence for a while, in which Yamato spent alone in his thoughts, until Gabumon said suddenly, "You are acting strange."

"I'm the same as always." Yamato muttered.

"Is that so?"

His cell phone rang, and Yamato would have ignored it, if Gabumon had not said, "Your phone's ringing."

"I know…"

He plunged his hand into the pocket of his trenchcoat, raising the phone to his ear and answering it as he stopped in his tracks. "Hello?"

"…Oh, it's you, Taichi…" Taichi was the least of his concerns right now. "What, school? Never mind that, I'm busy right now." Why the hell was Taichi always calling him about school? Hadn't he himself been absent for the whole damn week?

"_Are you still angry at me, Yamato? I'm really sorry. But, I don't want you to handle everything by yourself-"_

Yamato sighed. "No, idiot, that's not what this is about."

"Yeah, I just felt like coming here…yeah. Yeah, sure…" Yamato shook his head. "No, no thanks."

He started walking, as Taichi said, _"But your message-"_

"No, seriously, that's not it…" Yamato cut him off as he stepped forward onto the sand, hearing the waves crash against the shore. "Yeah, I'm fine…yeah." He spoke gruffly, "Yeah, bye."

He hung up before Taichi could try to get another word in, as Gabumon's voice interrupted his thoughts. "Was that from Taichi?"

Obviously. "Yeah."

"What did he want?"

"He wondered why I'm not at school today." Yamato said lowly as he advanced forward. **_(1)_**

"Hmm…"

"Is something the matter?" Yamato said as he began to feel uncomfortable with Gabumon staring at him intently.

"So, why aren't you at school today?"

Why was Gabumon asking him that now? Yamato frowned. "No idea."

"Oh, honestly," Gabumon sounded exasperated, but he couldn't care less, "You're always like this, Yamato."

Yamato shrugged. He looked up as they neared the sea, speaking almost hesitantly, "I thought that if I saw the sea…"

"Eh?"

"Then I could figure something out…"

They descended into silence which Yamato was grateful for. Perhaps Gabumon finally understood he needed peace and quiet for himself. The sound of their footsteps echoed along the beach, and they walked until the sound of their footsteps were synchronized, and it wasn't like two beings were walking, but one, solitary being.

"_It's just that— something is bothering me. I feel as if the inside of my head is trapped in a gloomy daze. Am I feeling irritated because I don't know what's causing it? Or did I think that by coming here to the ocean and playing my guitar, I would refresh myself? ...Even I'm not sure what's wrong." _

What was bothering him? Yamato didn't know for sure. He had played his guitar to clear his mind, and that hadn't worked. Was it because of Taichi? Or Shizuka? Sora? Gabumon? Whatever it was…it bothered him. Most likely, he was bothered by Shizuka's situation…

"_But still… something's bothering me."_

* * *

><p>"Hey, there's someone there!"<p>

Yamato resisted the urge to sigh as Gabumon interrupted his music, his voice followed by the crashing of waves.

"Yamato, I'm going to slip by the other side of that fishing boat so he won't see me."

Whatever. "Okay."

"Hey, boy!"

Yamato blinked. "Eh?"

"Yeah, you!"

Yamato turned reluctantly, raising a slender eyebrow at the old man, "Me?"

"You see anyone else around?"

"What's with this old man?" Yamato muttered under his breath.

"Just get over here!"

The old man was gesturing impatiently. Sighing irritably, Yamato got up and made his way over to the stranger, an impatient frown on his face.

Somehow, he knew he was going to regret this. Greatly.

* * *

><p>"…In any case, this sea here and I are held together by a deep, deep love."<p>

He seriously really couldn't care less, "Are you done?"

Why had he even come over? He should have just ignored the stupid old man. He had talked for minutes about his surfboard and his _wetsuit_ and his history, and Yamato couldn't be bothered with a single thing he was saying. Heck, he wasn't sure he even understood what the crazy old man was talking about! It didn't help that his scratchy voice was practically grating, grating on the ends of his very nerves.

It didn't help either that the old man kept on pulling him, much to his chagrin, and ignoring him when he said he wasn't interested. Seriously, didn't he understand Japanese? Did he have to speak to the crazy stranger in English? Yamato had raised his voice loudly at him, trying to refrain from outright shouting in frustration, but the guy was hopeless. He had retorted back to Yamato to be grateful he was sharing his time with him, and then started on a really long tirade about the sea and how in love he was with it (whatever), which had just ended, much to Yamato's relief.

The old man stared at him, as if he couldn't believe Yamato wasn't impressed by his long tirade. Yamato smirked at him, "Gramps, I've been thinking…"

"What?" The old surfer asked.

"You don't have any friends, do you?"

The silence that followed would have been whole were it not for the crackling of the fire.

Yamato turned. "Go and tell your life story to the waves." He then proceeded to walk off, glad to leave the old man at last.

"Hey boy." Oh God. _"You don't punch the elderly, Ishida. No matter how annoying and irritating they might be. You __**don't**__."_

"Why did you come to the sea?"

Yamato stopped and blinked. "Eh?"

"You came here to confess your worries to her, too, didn't you?"

Yamato turned around in surprise. "Eh?"

The old man was smirking annoyingly at him, "I know what you're worried about." He said smugly, drawling, "What you've got, my boy…is girl trouble."

Yamato made a choked sound of surprise, and the old man laughed almost evilly. "See you around, boy."

He lighted a cigarette and walked away, leaving Yamato standing alone on the beach.

* * *

><p>"Yamato!"<p>

Gabumon was running up to him, a grin on his face. He stopped in front of Yamato, and let out a disturbing giggle.

"Why are you smiling so much?" Yamato asked warily.

"That's because, I've figured out why you've been acting so strange today." Gabumon said cheerfully as they walked along.

"What do you mean?"

"It's just like that person said." Was that smugness in Gabumon's voice? "It's because of a girl."

Yamato resisted the urge to gape, "You…were listening?"

"Only the last part."

Yamato released a tired sigh.

"She _is_ cute." Gabumon pointed out.

"What are you talking about?" Yamato said in annoyance.

"That girl." Gabumon said, and he knew he was referring to Shizuka, "She's the one you're thinking about, isn't she?"

"Don't be stupid." Yamato said. "She's got nothing to do with this."

"So it is her." Gabumon giggled.

Yamato stared as they walked along. "Hey, you…"

"Hey, Yamato."

"…Eh?" Gabumon was being so random today.

"I think she's a nice person." Gabumon said contemplatively.

"I told you…" Yamato mumbled as he trudged along, "It's not that."

Gabumon just laughed, and Yamato resisted the urge to sigh.

"_That old man was right. This depression I'm feeling is because of her. But at that time, I couldn't do anything to help her."_

He remembered when she had called him and revealed to him the risk of the operation. _"I couldn't give an answer that satisfied her. She didn't even say what was on her mind." _Had it really been just a day ago? _"Maybe she wanted me to say something first."_

_"But what could I have said? My words which would have been supposed to mean something — they would only have been clichés."_ Yamato clenched his fist at his thoughts, raising his gaze to the sea, _"That's why I came here… because I thought I could find a solution."__  
><em>  
>"<em>She told me that she loved the sea… so if I came here, I thought maybe I could hit upon something."<em> Yamato's eyes softened at the memory of his and Shizuka's first meeting_. "I want to take away everything that she fears."_ He raised a hesitant hand to his blue eyes._  
><em>  
>"<em>But if I were in her place… would I have had trouble deciding, too?"<em>

* * *

><p>"Hey, Yamato." Gabumon said suddenly.<p>

Yamato gasped, startled out of his thoughts. He noticed the sounds of the sea had returned. Or had they really disappeared at all? Perhaps his mind was playing tricks on him.

"What is it?" He asked in slight annoyance.

"Why are you acting so surprised?"

"N-No reason." He looked away.

"Yamato, what's that?"

"Where?"

"Over there."

Yamato turned his gaze to where Gabumon was pointing, "Oh, that?"

"What is it?"

"It looks like a stand."

"A stand?"

"It might sell ramen or oden."

"I feel hungry." Gabumon said as if in realization.

"Come to think of it, I haven't eaten anything since breakfast." Yamato said absentmindedly.

"You should go ahead and get something to eat, Yamato," Gabumon said as he walked away. "I'll grab myself something from the sea."

Yamato stared as Gabumon evolved. "Okay."

"Then, see you later!" And with that, his partner was gone.

Yamato sighed, and turned his attention to the stand. Well, he was hungry.

He really hoped this stranger wouldn't be like that crazy old man.

* * *

><p>Yamato refrained from the urge to sigh. He had really bad luck today.<p>

The owner of the shaved ice stand- it was the first time he had seen someone selling shaved ice during winter, Shizuka had purchased it for him and Gabumon during fall. Well the owner of the shaved ice stand- this old man wasn't crazy like _that_ old man, but he had a story to tell. A sob story. And Yamato was in no mood to listen to a sob story. Not when his own life seemed to be screwed up and he wasn't even sure what was wrong. Why should he listen to someone else's sob story when he had no one to listen to his?

"…It sure was fun back then. Now that I look back on it, I think that is the most fondest memory of my life." Yamato just nodded as the owner of the shaved ice stand spoke.

"I see."

"Yes. That's why I'm now the owner of a shaved ice stand. It was the only thing I could think of."

"But even so, I'm still waiting," The old man's voice turned passionate, "Maybe there's a small possibility that the two of them will come back! If they come here and they see that I'm not around – that would really worry my wife and my child, you know? That thought is what's been keeping me going."

"There may not be much I can do for the two of them, but one thing I can do is wait." The man nodded, a solemn look in his eyes. "Yes...just wait."

Yamato blinked. Maybe his luck wasn't that bad after all, "Hey…" he spoke slowly. "To tell you the truth, I-"

"Eh?"

Yamato shook his head. He wasn't sure he wanted to speak about his problems to the stranger, "Never mind. I'll eat this."

"Eh?"

The owner had shoved a cup of shaved ice into his hands. Yamato picked up the spoon and began to force himself to quickly eat the freezing cold, colorful ice.

"U-Um…sir…you don't have to force yourself to…um…"

Yamato resisted the urge to squeeze his eyes shut as he shoved the shaved ice down his throat. Damn, it was freezing _cold._

He finished the shaved ice with the owner staring at him the whole time. He swallowed, dug into his pocket and flung money down onto the table, his voice muffled, "T-Thanks for the food." Yeah, thanks for the food that would make him freeze to death.

"Are you alright?" The old man asked hesitantly.

Yamato choked, "Give my regards to your wife and child." He turned and walked away, shivering every step of the way.

"Thank you…for your patronage…" he could blearily hear the old man choking up with grateful tears, "Thank you very much…"

Why the hell had he eaten something so cold in the middle of winter? Because he had felt sorry for the old man? He had, but it shouldn't have been enough to make him eat something so. Fucking. Cold.

Yamato shivered, his throat burning. No, that wasn't it. It was because the old man had given him advice to his own situation – however involuntarily.

To wait. Waiting. At least that was a start.

* * *

><p>"Ah, I'm stuffed!"<p>

Yamato sneezed.

"Are you okay?"

Yamato sneezed again.

"Want me to catch a yellowtail for you?"

What the hell was a yellowtail anyway? "It's fine, forget it."

"Your lips are purple."

"Shut up." Yamato bit out, shivering.

Gabumon looked at him. "Normal people don't eat shaved ice in winter."

"I said shut up, didn't I!"

"Well, I suppose it's just like you to act that way." Gabumon sing-songed.

"What do you mean by that?" Yamato countered darkly.

"No-thing."

Gabumon began again, "Hey, Yamato. Anyway…"

"Hmm?"

"About that girl…"

"That's enough, isn't it…"

"…What, just say it." Yamato gave in when Gabumon kept silent.

"It's strange," Gabumon said as if he hadn't stopped talking, "She thinks I'm a person."

"I know."

"That's why, when you weren't around, I had the chance to talk to her alone a few times."

"Eh?" A few times? He had only told Gabumon to visit her that one time!

"She talked a lot about you during those times." Gabumon tilted his head at him, "Want to know?"

"Not really."

"Then I won't tell you."

Another silence descended. Yamato clenched his throbbing teeth. "What is it, just tell me."

Gabumon replied almost immediately. Damn that sly creature. "She said Yamato's a delicate person." _**(2)**_

"Huh?" Delicate? _Him?_ Ishida Yamato- _delicate?_

"She said that you're the naive type that's very sensitive and tends to brood a lot." Yamato twitched, "But she also said that she worries about you, since you have trouble expressing that to other people."

Gabumon paused, then looked up at him with a sly smile. "She's totally right, don't you agree?"

"Shut up." Yamato muttered, embarrassed.

Gabumon ignored him, "Since you're such a serious person, she thinks you shouldn't handle everything all by yourself." Where had he heard that before? "Also…"

"There's more?" Yamato said weakly.

"She also said that… despite all of that, those qualities are what she likes about you." Gabumon blinked, a contemplative look in his eyes. "…I wonder how she's got you all figured out."

Yamato stopped walking. He stared at the ground as Gabumon continued on, the padding of his feet and the howling of the cold winter wind surrounding his thoughts.

"What's wrong?"

"You…what do you think she should do?"

"Eh?"

"What can I do for her?"

"Well…" Gabumon seemed to be thinking, "Thinking about her…"

"She's suffering a lot!" Yamato raised his sharp gaze, "It's a harsh situation she's in." His voice was choked.

"But, she always acts so cheerful, right?" Gabumon didn't seem to get his point.

"That's just a façade." Yamato bit his lip harshly. "But I'll bet she's suffering much more than I can ever imagine!"

"Then you can offer her comfort-"

"How? What can I do?" Gabumon didn't understand- Gabumon didn't understand, and it made him all the more angry and anxious. Tears of frustration burned in his eyes. "You think because of me she'll just brighten up?_!_ Of course not!"

"But, it can't be helped. There's really nothing else you can do-"

"Yeah, that's exactly my point!" Yamato gritted his teeth, feeling his anger channeled towards himself, "There's nothing I can do!"

He stalked forward angrily, "In the end…there's nothing I can do."

"W-Wait, Yamato!"

He increased his pace, and knew Gabumon was chasing him, "Yamato! Hey, Yamato! What's the matter with you_!_? Where are you going?_!_"

"Home."

"Eh?"

"They knew. They all knew." Yamato muttered darkly, his thoughts taking a dark turn.

"What is it that you're talking about? What's wrong?" Gabumon asked worriedly.

"No matter where I go, I won't be where she is!"

"Hey, Yamato, where is all this coming from?_!_"

Didn't Gabumon understand? "I'm not her. I'll never be able to fully understand either the pain she's feeling or her agony. I can't fix things and I sure as hell can't switch places with her." He let out a frustrated breath, "There's no guarantee that the operation will even succeed. I have no right to tell her that I understand how she feels."

"You're acting strange! Not like the Yamato I know!"

"What do you mean not like me?" Yamato whirled around, narrowing his blue eyes, "Then tell me; what is the usual 'me' like?"

Gabumon hesitated. "Eh…"

"The 'me' you know is just the person you see me as. It's not who I really am!"

"That can't be-

"It is true." Yamato interjected lowly. "I know now what kind of person I am." He clenched his teeth, averting his gaze and blinking rapidly, "In the end, I'm merely a selfish jerk!"

He shuffled quickly away, wrapping his arms around himself as Gabumon's voice trailed behind him. "Yamato…"

Selfish- conceited- that was all he was, wasn't it? Yamato gave an inward bark of laughter, First he had let Sora down, because of his so called love, then he had refused to talk to Taichi, to even see him after their argument, and now he was thinking of himself, again, with Shizuka's situation.

"_I don't even know who I am and you expect me to say something patronizing to her for encouragement? Don't make me laugh."_ Yamato thought darkly with an inward, choked, scoff.

Taichi had once said he knew what kind of person he was- someone who threw a tantrum when things didn't work out according to the way he wanted. Yamato scowled. Well, screw what Taichi thought. He didn't want to think of him at all now. He was worried about her. Not him.

"I am…powerless."

"Yamato!" Gabumon frowned, walking after his partner's hunched figure, "Hey, Yamato!"

"Wait for me!"

* * *

><p>"…I am powerless…"<p>

"Hey. What happened to Yamato-kun?"

He didn't care that he had said his thoughts out loud, barely registering Gabumon's voice, "Mhm, it's a little hard to explain."

"Eh? What, what is it?"

"Anyway," Gabumon brushed off, "What brings you here, mister?"

He tuned them out after that, lost in his own thoughts. He was powerless, wasn't he? He couldn't do anything even if he went to the beach. No matter how long he stared at the sea, there was never a sudden realization or epiphany.

Seriously, what could he do? Nothing. Like the shaved ice seller said, he could only just wait. Yeah it was a start but it wouldn't get him to the end. Did he even want to get to the end? What would he find there? Would he like it? Or not?

"_There I go, thinking about myself again,"_ Yamato thought miserably, _"I really am a selfish person."_

So maybe Taichi was right. Maybe he really was a selfish person who threw his temper when things didn't go his way. Taichi had said that long ago when they were still in the Digiworld, when he had gone against them with Metalgarugarumon. It was a memory that stuck out to him even now, several years later.

Why was he remembering that? He didn't care about Taichi anymore. Taichi didn't care about him- well, Taichi only cared about him when it suited him, so why should Yamato care about him?

He cared about Shizuka. Shizuka was more important than Taichi. Much more important. He was worried about her. Was there really nothing he could do for her? Absolutely nothing? He couldn't even be there for her – he didn't even know which hospital she was in.

Yamato gritted his teeth, hating his helplessness. His powerlessness.

"Don't you think it's freezing, Yamato–kun?"

"…I am powerless…"

The man who worked for his father in the acoustics department looked at him strangely. Why was he even here anyway? Why had he even called him over? Why was it that after he had received that call from Shizuka, listened to her cassette tape, suddenly there were a lot of strange people approaching him or wanting him to approach them? Weird.

"What's wrong with him?" Hell of a lot of things old-well, not so old man.

"Oh, this and that…we did meet a lot of strange people here, though. There was this old surfer man, and then this old man running a shaved ice stand, and then, well, there was you."

The not so old man, Sakurada, sounded amused, "I'm included?"

Gabumon laughed. "Of course."

Sakurada laughed lowly, and Yamato retreated back into his own world.

Powerless- he was really powerless. Nothing was giving him power. Not those talks with the old men, not Gabumon's encouragement, not Shizuka's light hearted demeanor. In fact, it only made him feel more guilty. Because he hadn't understood until now that she was faking it. Faking her happiness so her loved ones wouldn't worry. So that her friends wouldn't worry. So that he wouldn't worry.

He really couldn't do anything, could he? Yamato blearily wondered if he would spend the rest of winter like this, skipping school and going down to the beach, trying to get rid of his troubled thoughts in vain. The beach which was once so calm and peaceful to him was like a cold, frosty piece of land. Barren land. No hope, no sign of life.

"So, I think it's best that I, at least, do something in the meantime while I think about what to do. Don't you think so?"

Annoying Sakurada. He really wished he would just shut up already. His talking was just giving him a damn headache, and he didn't need that right now.

"_There I go, thinking about myself again. Tch. There's nothing I can do…"_

"Seriously, what's the deal with him? What happened to him?"

"Just…something."

"Well, a lot of things happen in life, I suppose." Duh.

"Hmmm…"

Yamato was about to tune the two annoying voices out again when Sakurada spoke, "Moving on to a new topic… I suppose the reason why I came all the way here to a real ocean, just to capture the sound of the sea, is because I really do want the listeners to hear it."

Yamato blinked. Hear it? Hear the sound of the sea?

"I mean, I won't be able to tell whether or not it'll be audible once it's mixed in, and maybe no one will even care… but even if they don't hear it," he could make out Sakurada's wry smile, "I feel satisfied that I went out of my way in this bitter cold to record the sound, just because I want them to listen. Also, while I'm still talking, they played the movie "Demon Tank T-34" on TV late last night, have you seen it yet?"

…That was it. Hear it – he could let Shizuka hear something! Well, he couldn't let her hear the sound of the ocean, but he could let her hear one of his songs.

Yamato pondered on which song he should let Shizuka hear. Negai Kanaeru Kagi? Hitoriboochi no Seesaw? She was a quiet and serene girl, she would probably prefer Hitoriboochi no Seesaw. Yamato frowned slightly, biting his lip. It was one of the few songs of the Teenage Wolves which was calming, soothing. They were a rock band after all. Hitoriboochi no Seesaw…he had just wanted to have that as an exception.

Yeah, she would want to listen to Hitoriboochi no Seesaw. But, the song wasn't for her. He hadn't written it for her. He had written it for…it was so long ago, when he had seen the person he now knew…alone on that lone seesaw, pretending they weren't lonely. He had been sitting on the other side, and he hadn't been noticed. He hadn't been noticed when he had met that person, when they had become friends. He doubted they would know he had watched them from the other side during their early childhood, their shared loneliness making him feel an affinity with them.

And, he knew it was a sad song. He didn't want her to feel sad. What if she was already depressed? Listening to such sad music would only make her feel sadder, and he didn't want that.

Yamato ran through his songs again, but there didn't seem to be anything that he would like Shizuka to hear. She had said she loved his music, but somehow, he wanted to let her listen to something else. He wanted her to listen to something special, show her she was someone special.

Special…"…I see…"

"Eh?"

"So that's it!"

"Eh? What, what?"

"I…" Yamato found himself smiling for the first time in a long while, "Just want her to listen." To something special.

Sakurada sounded puzzled, "To Demon Tank?"

Yamato ignored him, "I just want her to listen…" he grinned as the idea- the splendid idea finally hit him, and he laughed in relief, "What the heck! So that was it!"

"Is something wrong?" Sakurada sounded skeptical at his sudden enthusiasm, but he didn't give a damn. Nope.

"Well…" Gabumon sounded sheepish.

Yamato picked himself up off the sand, smiling widely as he stared forward, "Gabumon! Let's go!"

"Okay!" Gabumon was surprised, but happy.

Yamato grinned as he sprinted away. Seriously, how could he have been so stupid? The answer was right in front of him! Hadn't they met because of their love for the sea? Hadn't they become close friends because of their love for music?

Music- that was his answer. It had always been his answer, even now. He just hadn't realized it. Damn, he was really an idiot!

"Hey, wait! Yamato-kun! …Wait! Gabumon-kun, too, where are you both going? …Hey, hold on!"

Sakurada's voice soon faded away as he and Gabumon ran up the beach, closing the distance towards their home. Yamato mentally noted to thank Sakurada next time he saw him as he exchanged smiles with Gabumon, before they both continued to advance towards their destination.

He couldn't wait to write and compose the song for Shizuka to hear.

* * *

><p><strong><em>(1) <em>**I didn't make this up. Yamato really did receive a call from Taichi in the Drama CD, and those were the words he said. Though we didn't get to hear Taichi's voice; but I think that's cause if we did it would be Taito, lol. That's the scene which convinced me the girl was definitely not Sora and the Drama CD was just a cover up of Yamato being with Taichi, which adds to Yamato's character all the more. It sounded like they were in the midst of a lovers' argument to me, judging by what Yamato said, "No, idiot, that's not what this is about." (to Taichi's unheard apology). A bit far-fetched so that's why I wrote this story; to prove.

_**(2)** _Shizuka (the unnamed girl in Tegami) did call Yamato 'delicate', according to Gabumon. So I wondered why - if they'd meant to put Yamato with a girl, why would they have her describe him as delicate? It's definitely not a masculine quality. So I thought of Taichi again, and how maybe Shizuka had seen how Yamato was hurt by what Taichi had said to him. I'm not saying Yamato's girly. But there's definitely an implication that he's sensitive. (Yamato's voice actor agreed with Gabumon's voice actress that Yamato's a tsundere, in an interview) I didn't call Yamato delicate, the producer of the Drama CD on his character seems to think he is. It's just some food for thought.

_Next up: The Song_


	4. Author's Note Argument for Taito

_This Author's Note is on behalf of all authors who have been unfortunately unfortunate enough to have been flamed._

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><p>When I first started writing, I did it because I enjoyed it. When I signed up on this site, I did it because I wanted people to read my stories. Yeah I want reviews like any other writer but what I wanted the most was to share my stories with other fans. I wanted people to enjoy reading, like I had in the past.<p>

So I never imagined one of my stories would turn into something almost controversial. I never expected I would be posting something like this. An argument to a topic. On a topic which should be common ground between the both of us. But for some absurd reason, is not. If I were any other person I would have ignored the flame, proved they had just wasted their own precious time. But I'm not. I don't fucking run away.

So, 'Taito Fan', this is for you:

You amuse me. At first I was upset and disappointed but now I'm wryly amused. I actually thought you had a point. I actually considered that I might be delusional. But your second review, put that thought right out of the window. And I reminded myself, I have always been a student of Literature.

But of course, since your argument is that I'm biased, I took the time to ask fellow Taito fans what they think. And I think you can see from the reviews after yours what their answer is. So, it is not just me. And from your long arguments, I assumed it would only be respectful to reply you with one of at least equal length. So, here it is.

As philosopher Martha Nussbum wrote in the research paper me and my fellow Literature students were made to read, moral reasoning is perception. Everyone knows this is fanfiction. Imagination can be fostered by perception. Simply put, you showed a lack of moral reasoning in your lack of perception. And in turn, a lack of imagination.

You claim to be a Taito fan, yet you resist this story, which is Taito evidence in itself. It's fine if you like/love Taito 'cause you believe it can't be real and just like the pairing for itself. I can accept and respect that, different people have different opinions. But it's not when you enforce your opinion on others, and criticize, insult not only me, but the so many other thousands of people who believe it's real, and these people would include one Sorato fan, who acknowledged that Taichi and Yamato were definitely close, especially in Season 1, to a Taito fan, even if she loves Sorato and not Taito.

I hardly edited the Drama CD, 'Tegami', which is the chapter your first review was on. The Sea. If Taito doesn't exist, do tell me why the background of this story seems to fit so well with that of the Drama CD? And by the way, I didn't make Yamato girly. If you've read through this story from beginning to the latest chapter, Yamato's character is constant with that portrayed by the Japanese Drama CD on his character. 'Delicate' is the exact translation of _'Senzaii'_. Or at the least, sensitive. I did do my research. I've watched Japanese anime since I was eleven years old. I can speak simple Japanese and I do so occasionally with my friend (who can write and read Japanese), recognize where there may be a mistake in the translation, even if I'm not an apt translator. Since when did I say 'cause he's delicate, he's gay? Before Shizuka claimed he was delicate, he was already with Taichi. Yeah Shizuka called him delicate to show he's sensitive. This is a Drama CD on his character. So, he's a sensitive person. Not girly. In fact I believe I specifically mentioned that. And if you want to argue with 'canon', Taichi will be taller than Yamato in the future, according to that dreaded epilogue so many people disregard.

Your resistance is interesting. It extends to me a challenge. And I've grown to like challenges.

You claim to hold canon in high regard, yet when you criticize me- you show nothing but claims. You insult all my perceptions. Not only that, you insult me; and that, in argumentative writing, is a fallacy. Insulting the writer instead of criticizing the argument. You claim this is not true and to go rewatch Digimon which I've already done, this year. You didn't say why this is not true, you've just assumed it isn't. You insult my profile, when it has little to do with this story. You also didn't even say why you don't think Taichi's song is for Yamato when it played when Taichi and Yamato were holding hands and shot through the heart during the fight with Vamdemyotismon (even though there was clearly an allusion to Cupid's arrows of love) and when Yamato came back to save Taichi, or Mimi's song could be for Jyou. And, you didn't say why my evidence is not true and why they are delusions- you just said they were. Where is your analysis? The only example you've given is Yamato's dislike for sweets and Taichi's and Yamato's contrasting traits. Which, by the way, can signify that they are more than just a typical yaoi pairing.

However, since I respect your opinion of canon, let me prove to you with the following why I think Taito is canon. Using canon details. I am going to show you a message to my friend about Taito. I hardly edited anything, except to insert some further evidence for substantiation. If you don't read it, well, then you're just proving to yourself to have a narrow minded mind. The argument starts in the fifth paragraph, by the way.

_**The following message is not to only 'Taito Fan' but to all real Taito fans out there. Just a little **_**warning**_**; Sorato and Taiora fans would probably **__**not**__** want to read this. I am **__**not**__** insulting Sorato or Taiora, I am just stating and explaining my own opinion on why I believe in Taito and not Sorato or Taiora and in the process, I may be seen to be putting down those pairings. But I assure you, I am not insulting them. Everyone has the right to their own opinion, as long as expressed in a decent manner, and I respect the opinions of Sorato and Taiora fans.**_

* * *

><p>Hey :)<p>

Nah I didn't, I was actually wondering why you haven't contacted me in so long :/ I replied to your email, by the way :)

Well I'm fine, but I was feeling really upset yesterday by a flamer on my story, Door. At first I'd thought it was constructive criticism and I really was 'delusional' but after the second review, well, it's clear that it's a flame and I felt a bit better. But I also felt upset 'cause I'd just enabled the anoymous review feature again and this had to happen. I disabled it in the first place 'cause of that one flame (like I expected they didn't take up the challenge) and just as I enabled it another one comes. I don't know why it's always my stories which get flames. I've read other people's stories and their reviews and none of them get such extensive flames. My luck really must be bad. It also makes me feel sad about human nature. This is literature and those people can't even respect it. And when I went on Youtube, saw all the Sorato, Taiora wars it just makes me feel more bad. Yeah Sorato fans say they're better than most Taiora fans who don't respect the pairing. But some of them are not- they insult Taito on a Taito vid. Ironically, the creator of that Sorato video said she/he is a huge Sorato fan but doesn't hate any other pairings like Taiora, Taito, Mimato, Michi, whatever. Wish more people could be like that. Show some basic respect.

Sigh. And like I said just 'cause Sorato is considered canon Sorato fans think everything Yamato does/sings is for Sora. Seriously, I'm sick of seeing people say the girl in Yamato's Drama CD is Sora. It's not. Since when did Sora have an eye disease. Since when was Yamato so hesitant with Sora, and vice versa? Yeah Sora and Yamato were dating in the 4th movie. Yeah they got married. Yeah the producer said it in the magazine for Digimon fans for whatever. So what? He said they were married, he didn't say they were in love. They were standing apart in the epilogue, separated by Gabumon, but still. (Yamato was standing next to Taichi, who was taller than him.) Not like Ken and Miyako, where they were a family and Ken had a hand on Miyako's shoulder in an affectionate gesture. I don't support the pairing but that at least, I can believe. Sorato fans say evidence doesn't lead to the notion of Sorato, it's proof. But the fact that you must put out the evidence to show it's proof says a lot huh? Taito fans don't do that 'cause it's too obvious, no one needs to point it out. We just refer to a few scenes and use them in AMVs.

And, Why would Yamato marry when in his childhood, his parents had divorced? I won't be like other anti Sorato fans and say they divorced 'cause that hasn't confirmed to be true and is probably just a rumor. But seriously, think about it. Sorato fans would say it's love but someone like Yamato who has a childhood like that- there'll always be a part which won't believe in marriage. Because he couldn't see the love in his parents' marriage. Even being a Taito fan- yeah I want Yamato and Taichi to be married and I express that in my stories. But really, realistically speaking, Yamato would probably not marry Taichi. Because he still has that insecurity in marriage. Even though he may want to since he loves Taichi, there'll always be that part that's holding him back. Love is enough for him, he doesn't need marriage to prove. Just like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, together since 2005, only engaged recently. Brad Pitt commented, that 'they wouldn't marry until all couples could marry'. He didn't elaborate on his statement, but I think we can infer what he's talking about. Gay marriage was just legalized recently.

And, Yamato's a guy. He won't fall so easily for the notion of love in marriage like a girl. There are so many gay men who marry to hide their sexuality from society. (Elton John, Cole Porter, Oscar Wilde. And in China, about 16 million women are married to gay men as of this year, February, because of pressure to follow traditional values prevalent in the country, according to a newspaper article as claimed by Prof Zhang Bei-chuan from Qingdao University, who researches on AIDS and HIV.) And in Japan, retaining tradition is of vital importance. Though, I believe Yamato is bisexual.

I'm not saying marriage is automatically bad. But I've experienced Yamato's situation for myself. Not a complete divorce, but a marriage on paper. This is what marriage is becoming. Perhaps it's because of the assumed stability in marriage. Once you're married, there is a certain bond which ties you as another's life partner. Marriage makes people complacent. And not many can resist that complacency. Looking at Yamato as a character, I think he knows that. Because he has experienced it for himself. And he doesn't want to risk it with himself. With someone who has accepted him and understood him, his good and bad side. With someone whom he has fallen in love, something he wasn't willing to believe in, seeing his mother and father. Takeru may have been affected too but he was young. He is also a different person from Yamato, more innocent and optimistic but still aware. Yamato was affected the most- more than his father, his mother, his brother, alone.

Marriage is also a societal norm. Digimon has always been about society and real life situations (divorce, expectations of society and parents, adoption, possibly bisexuality). Digimon is about life (and human nature, like Evangelion). About people and possible situations which most people will not see unless presented to them explicitly. And so, Digimon is a popular anime, educating people since young and allowing them to relate to the characters which they've grown fond of. An explicit showcase of life. Digimon has taught people about life, about values and growing up. Being openly with another man is not adhering to society's expectations.

Yamato's father seems to hold high expectations of him as his only son. Sora's mother has shown to be against her playing soccer and her tomboyishness. Yeah, Sora has definitely become more feminine, wearing miniskirts, giving up soccer for tennis,etc. But looking at Sora, I see her as a free character, not really willing to be tied down by anyone unless she really loves the person. (This is exemplified in her character song, Sora no Iro no Kaze where she sings about freedom) It may be Sorato 'cause Sora likes Yamato more than he likes her, even loves him. She may know this and is willing to come to a compromise - by marrying Yamato and having children, she won't only be helping him to hide, but also satisfying her mother's expectations - to be a normal Japanese wife. Sora's mother sells flowers by the way and probably does flower arranging too, an important aspect of Japanese culture.

This, is what is evidence. Logical evidence and reasoning. Looking at human nature and coming to a conclusion about a certain character. Yes Yamato could have fallen in love with Sora somehow. But it is more realistic to assume otherwise- considering the background circumstances of the two characters from Season 1, how Yamato was closest with Taichi, how Taichi's song is dedicated to Yamato, how Yamato wasn't even close with Sora in the past, but with Taichi. This, is synthesis, the highest level of reasoning and intellectual thinking. And we get that from thinking about human nature, looking at a character as a person, as someone real, like us. Not as a character to be paired up with someone else. The characters we see in anime, in movies, in books, are characters of possible situations in real life; situations which people overlook, do not want to acknowledge, like me in the past.

So yeah, I acknowledge, Taiora is canon - on Sora's side. Taichi understands Sora and doesn't reject her tomboyishness, which is what Sora wants. But though Taichi could have liked Sora, he has been shown to pay the most attention to Yamato, though Sora is definitely a close friend. Taito is not explicitly shown because homosexuality, especially between men, is something many people cannot accept or even acknowledge. And Digimon reflects life- people in life. Who have to adhere to society's expectations. Digimon; has always been subtle in that way, which is why I'm so damn fond of it.  
>Sorato- Sora may have fallen for Yamato when she grew up because he is a kindred spirit, like her. Having to conform to society's expectations (his; his father's, her, her mother's). She may have thought he could understand her, which is what she needs. But I really don't think he loves her. If he had, he wouldn't have married her. He might have had children with her, but not marriage. Marriage- would have been too perfect a notion. Yamato's life has never been perfect. Content maybe, but not perfect. Never perfect.<p>

Even after writing all this, I have no idea why I'm telling you this. I should be telling all those Sorato/Taiora fans who war and insult Taito and appealing to their human logic (if they have any to be spared from all the fanatic reasoning). It's fine to like/love a pairing but not to the extent of not even having the basic respect for other pairings. I don't insult Sorato or Taiora. Sigh. And even if I am in a way, criticizing them while standing up for Taito now, I still won't diss Sorato or Taiora (like how some Sorato/Taiora fans have said Taito sucks or how 'Tai and Matt can't be gay' on Taito videos) because I have at least the basic respect for other people's opinions. Anyway I have to get back to work now (yeah mundane after all this talk about humanity and shit) so I'll see you soon :)

Your Friend,  
>X<p>

* * *

><p>I think I've said enough. I have my pride, and you have yours. My pride may just be more than yours. And yeah, that's a flaw of mine. Hubris. But I've conceded some of it, out of basic respect for another individual. Next time you insult someone, be prepared to be insulted back. As the axiom-no, the Golden Rule (from the perspective of psychology, philosophy, sociology, religion, etc) goes, "Do unto others what you would like others to do unto you".<p>

With Respect,

-YB Fan


	5. The Song

Right. So I'm back. Been sick and feeling like shit, though I still haven't recovered. But I've calmed down sufficiently now, so here's a new chapter to tide over the rough times. ;) Thanks of course, to the people who supported me and made me feel this story was still worth writing. :) You guys rock.

**_Bibi:_** _Thanks for reviewing :) Yeah, the girl isn't Sora, she has a different voice actress than Sora although Sorato fans say (joked) that Sora's voice actress was sick or something. But that still doesn't change the fact that Sora doesn't have an eye disease, and she wouldn't be so formal and hesitant with Yamato. And that Sora already knew Gabumon, who would just refer to her as 'Sora' and not 'that girl'. So 'cause they think it's Sora; the description in the video claimed so, they automatically think Tobira and Hitoriboochi no Seesaw are for Sora…tch. Yeah it's ok to think Yamato's songs are for Sora if you're a Sorato fan but not to like make it an official claim and dishearten all other fans ya know. Just like how if you're a Mimato fan you'll think Yamato's songs are for Mimi, people debate on whether Matt's song in the dub is for Mimi or Sora and that's fine 'cause it's not claiming anything officially. People just write fanfics to prove to their own kind. I sort of have evidence that Yamato's songs could be for Taichi but hey, I'm not going to go imposing my view on other people even if I feel that my evidence is clearer than other's claims 'cause it seems to fit canon and makes sense to me. It's the respect, you know, I just have to know it._

_Haha thanks. It's me and justice, you see, I had to do it, even if most people wouldn't. 'Cause I got angrier when I thought of all the other authors who were flamed, though if I'm the only one then whatever, I was still standing up for all other authors who have been flamed. Yeah you can have your own opinion as long as you don't enforce it on others, that's what I believe. I mean it's fine if 'Taito Fan' likes Taito for the sake for the pairing, there are people who like pairings for fun (like me in other fandoms) but not when they impose their view and insult not only me but so many other real Taito fans. Sigh._

_That's nice, yeah people change. Yeah most Taito fans respect Sorato and Taiora fans, I mean we don't go saying Sorato sucks or anything so why can't they do the same for us. It's hard to find people like that Soratofan I mentioned. Anyway hope you enjoy the chap._

_**Just a little note, Shizuka's casette tape speech in this chapter is the last part of the Drama CD, part 9 I think. Again, you can find it on Youtube, just type 'Digimon drama cd Tegami' or something. Feel free to ask if you're unsure.**_

* * *

><p>Of course, as he had expected from life, that wasn't the end of his ordeal.<p>

His phone rang as he was practicing with his band, and he blinked. He gestured for his band to pause, before digging into his pocket and pulling out his phone, "Hello?"

"Is this Ishida Yamato-kun?"

"Yeah, it is," Yamato replied. "Who are you?"

"Ah, Yamato-kun!" The woman's voice was clearer now, "I'm Shizuka's mother."

"Ah." Yamato replied. He smiled, "Well, how can I help you?"

"If it isn't too much trouble, could you come over to our house today?" Shizuka's mother sounded excited, "Shizuka has something she wants me to give you."

"Sure."

"Thanks, Yamato-kun!" Yamato smiled, "See you there!"

"See you." He ended the call.

"Who was that?" Akemi asked curiously.

"Just a friend," Yamato brushed off, though he couldn't keep the smile off his lips. He pocketed his phone and moved his hand back down to his guitar, "Come on, let's continue."

"You seem happier nowadays," his bandmate observed, then grinned, "But I suppose that's a good thing!"

Yamato grinned, "Oh shut up and play your part." He said good naturedly.

"Fine, fine."

* * *

><p>"Oh, it's you, Yamato-kun!"<p>

"Hey." Yamato greeted with a smile.

Shizuka's mother gave him a wider smile in return, "Wait here for a moment, will you?" Yamato nodded, "I'll go get it."

She dashed into the house, and soon came back, with a cassette tape in her hand. Yamato smiled as she handed it to him, "Here!"

"Thank you." Yamato said politely as he received the tape.

Shizuka's mother grinned at him, "You're very welcome, Yamato-kun!" She said cheerfully, and Yamato could see where Shizuka got her cheerful nature from. "In fact, I should be the one thanking you!"

"Thank you so much, Yamato-kun," she told him, genuine gratefulness in her blue eyes, "Because of you- because of your song, Shizuka-" she sniffed, wiping a happy tear away from her eye then smiled at him, "W-Well…I'll let you listen to the tape yourself. I won't ruin the surprise for you."

It wasn't really a surprise, but a thought. Or a fact. A very nice fact. Yamato smiled back at her, "You're welcome," he said, then turned, "Well, I'll be leaving now."

"Bye, Yamato-kun!" Shizuka's mother waved, tears of happiness sliding down her cheeks, "Thank you!"

Yamato waved back, smiling. He then advanced forward, and soon found himself running all the way home, a grin on his lips.

"You look happy!" Gabumon said from the couch when Yamato dashed into the house.

Yamato grinned at him. "Do I?" He asked as he removed the cassette tape from its paper case. He dropped it onto the couch, then moved to the player. He switched it on, smiling as he heard Gabumon switch on the television. He removed the old cassette tape, and inserted the new one.

Gabumon handed the remote to him when he returned to the couch and Yamato gave him a grateful smile. He switched the channels, and pressed the play button.

The screen still buzzed into black and white, but Yamato didn't care. He was smiling as he listened to Shizuka's voice.

"_Dear Ishida Yamato-sama."_

"_Sama? Really…"_ an amused grin curved Yamato's lips. _"Her voice's stronger than last time."_

"_I listened to your song. I was really surprised when I heard that a tape was sent to me. And, um…"_ Yamato grinned, _"Anyway, I finally took the surgery for my eyes! I was really scared to do it…"_

"_But…once I heard this song, somehow, I felt that I should try my best. That's why I decided to go with it."_  
><em><br>"And, about how the surgery went…"_ Yamato smiled, waiting in anticipation for the fact he already knew, _"…it seems it will all work out! Though they haven't taken the bandages off yet, but the doctor says that everything went all right."_

"_At this moment, I can't help but feel excited about all of the things that I'll get to enjoy soon."_ Yamato was half listening and half cheering – inwardly, of course, _"They've told me that I can leave the hospital right away after the bandages are off, so…so if…that's not right. Um, surely if…eh that's not right either."_

Yamato smiled as Shizuka sounded more confident, _"Of course… yes… of course __when__ my eyes can see again, I'd like to go see the ocean that you went to see, Yamato-kun."_ Shizuka sounded contemplative, _"Maybe I won't be able to go there straight from the hospital, but, um, I promise you that I will go see it."_

"_Thank you."_

"Yamato? You're grinning."

"Am I?" Yamato grinned.

"See!" Gabumon told him, and grinned along with him, "I told you that you could comfort her, didn't I?_!_"

"It all worked out in the end!"

"Yeah it did," Yamato's grin widened and he ruffled Gabumon's head, "We did it! Thanks, Gabumon!"

Gabumon smiled happily, winking as Yamato ruffled his fur. "No problem, Yamato!"

Yamato grinned, and shared a high five with Gabumon.

Shizuka could see. Shizuka would be able to see. She would be able to see clearly. And she promised she would see the ocean with him. They would see the ocean together again, and this time she would be able to see it clearly- as clearly as him.

"Not going to see the ocean today?" Gabumon asked as Yamato stood up and made his way to his room.

"Nope," Yamato replied, smiling. He turned and looked at Gabumon, "I'll wait for the day when we can see it together again."

"So sweet," Gabumon grinned at him, "Hey, can I come too?"

Yamato smiled. He turned back around, and opened the door to his room.

"Of course, Gabumon."

* * *

><p>The next few days flashed by for Yamato. He was busy with catching up on school and with his band's upcoming concert. He had let his bandmates hear the song he had written for Shizuka, and they had said it was different from his usual style, but were all too happy to include it in their repertoire of songs. If he wasn't practicing with his band, he was at home doing his homework and studying or hanging out with Sora, telling her about Shizuka.<p>

Sora seemed to be bothered by something, and there were times when she was about to say what was on her mind. She never really said it though, always seeming to hesitate at the last moment. Yamato wondered if it was about their relationship. Yet, Sora had made it clear that she understood. So he just smiled at her, knowing that if something was really bothering her, she would tell him. They were close friends now.

Things were pretty normal for him at school. The only abnormal thing was that Taichi wasn't there. Yamato had to resist the urge to roll his eyes when he remembered Taichi calling him about why he was not attending school. He felt a little guilty, but he still hadn't entirely forgiven Taichi. Well, he was probably just sulking at home.

Time passed fast, and it suited Yamato. It was tiring, but it was life. He had his friends, he had Sora, he would be able to see the ocean with Shizuka soon, he was nervous but excited about his band's upcoming concert. It would be the first time he sung the song he had written for Shizuka publically. He wanted her to be there to listen to him.

Almost two weeks had passed before Yamato made his way to Shizuka's house. Shizuka's mother- come to think of it, he still didn't know her name; opened the door for him, blinked at him, then smiled.

"Looking for Shizuka, Yamato-kun?"

"Yeah," Yamato smiled at her, "Has she returned from the hospital?"

"Yup," Shizuka's mother told him cheerfully, her eyes bright, "She went down to the beach."

The beach. Yamato smiled, and bowed to her. "Alright, thank you."

"Bye!" Shizuka's mother called, "Help me tell her not to stay there too late, will you?"

"Sure!" Yamato replied over his shoulder, smiling as he headed down to the beach.

Shizuka's house was near the beach and it didn't take him long to get there. He found her standing in front of the ocean. She didn't have her flute with her, but she was smiling as she looked into the winter sunset sky.

"Hey." Yamato said softly as he made his way to her side.

Shizuka blinked, then turned her gaze away from the entrancing sunset. Yamato smiled as her sky blue eyes sparkled at him. "Yamato-kun!"

To his surprise, she reached out her arms and hugged him. Yamato felt his cheeks warm, and brought his arms around her thick, furry coat, returning her hug awkwardly. "Hey, Shizuka…chan…"

Shizuka grinned at him, then let go of him, "Sorry," she apologized sheepishly, "I'm just so happy to see you!"

"And…just Shizuka is fine."

Yamato blinked, "Well, how many times have I told you to call me Yamato?" He said teasingly.

Shizuka flushed, "Ah…" she said, "Um…I forgot?"

Yamato chuckled, "Give me a warning next time." He told her with a smile, "I don't really mind, I was just surprised."

"Oh alright!" Shizuka beamed at him, and Yamato smiled to see she looked a lot brighter, more confident, more full of life- happier. Her blue eyes were bright as they shone at him, and as he thought back to when he had first met her, he could now see that they were clearer, not glassy like they were before. He had been fooled by their beauty.

Well, they were still beautiful now. Yamato watched as Shizuka smiled at him, "I can see everything so clearly now…it's really nice," she said, a happy smile on her lips as she turned her gaze to the ocean, "The ocean…I didn't know it was so beautiful."

"Eh?" Yamato blinked. "But you said you loved the ocean."

"Yeah, I did. But back then, I loved it because it's very relaxing- the sound of the waves on the shore, the seagulls chirping…" Shizuka smiled, and closed her perfectly healthy sky blue eyes. She opened them, and gazed into the distance, "Now, I love it even more. I couldn't see it clearly then, but I can see it…so clearly now."

"This is your first time seeing the ocean?"

"I guess you could say that," Shizuka said, a sheepish tone to her voice. "It's always been rather blurry to me."

She turned her gaze to him, and he was suddenly aware she could see him now- really see him as clearly as he could see her, and not just hear his voice. "Yamato, your eyes are also very beautiful."

"…Eh?"

Shizuka smiled at him, a light flush on her cheeks, and he knew he was blushing, "They remind me of the ocean," she said shyly, but with that tone of honesty to her voice, "It's the first time I'm seeing them clearly."

"Um…" Yamato said. "Thank…you?"

Shizuka blinked at him. "Did I make you uncomfortable?" She asked hesitantly. "I'm sorry…"

"Ah…that's not it…" Yamato waved off with a smile. "It's just…"

"_You reminded me of someone."_ He thought as he stared at her, _"Someone honest and kind."_

He remembered Gabumon said Shizuka had called him delicate. Was he really? It was hard to believe. He wanted to ask her, but decided it would be too awkward.

"I'm sorry," Shizuka apologized again guiltily, "I've…made things awkward."

"Ah, no…I was just, thinking," Yamato reassured her, smiling, "I'm not offended or anything, really. I mean, why would I be? I was just, surprised."

"Alright then," Shizuka smiled in relief and he smiled back at her. She shifted her gaze back to the ocean and the sunset, and they lapsed into a peaceful, comfortable silence.

"Yamato-kun…" Shizuka started in a quiet voice which did not disrupt the peaceful atmosphere.

"Yamato."

"Yamato," Shizuka turned and smiled at him, her sky blue eyes brighter than usual, "You wrote the song for me at the ocean, right?"

"Yeah."

"Is it for me?"

Yamato blinked. "Of course."

"It's a very emotional song," Shizuka said, smiling at him, a look in her eyes which he couldn't recognize, "You haven't shown such emotion to me before."

"Eh?"

"Yamato," there was a knowing look in her eyes, "That song isn't for me, is it? Who were you thinking about when you wrote the song?"

"I was thinking about you," he said, puzzled, "I was thinking about you and how I wanted to cheer you up with the song."

"And thank you for that, Yamato." Shizuka smiled gratefully at him, "But you wouldn't trust me with such an emotional song."

"Why wouldn't I trust you?" What was she talking about? Had he done something wrong? He'd thought the song was perfect! He had made sure it was perfect!

"Um, I'm sorry, I'm not accusing you," Shizuka seemed hesitant now, "It's just…" she bit her lip, raising her gaze, "Are you…angry?"

Yamato's eyes softened, "I'm not angry, Shizuka," he said. "I just, don't understand."

"Alright, Yamato…" Shizuka smiled at him. There was concern- concern for him in her sky blue eyes, and he didn't understand why. "It's just…when I listened to the song, I got this feeling…"

"This feeling?"

"This feeling…that you were trying to express your feelings," Shizuka told him while meeting his eyes. She smiled in such a way that it almost looked wry, "Forgive me if I'm wrong… but I know you're a sensitive person, Yamato. And your song…gave me this feeling that you were saying something to someone…that you were trying to tell someone something you couldn't tell them directly."

"What do you mean?" Yamato asked almost warily. "I…I was trying to tell something to someone. That someone was you, Shizuka," he said as he stared at her with his ocean blue eyes, "I was trying to give you the confidence to…undergo the operation…to have…courage…"

"Yamato…" Shizuka gave a soft sigh, then looked at him in the eyes, "I'm not the one you want to hold you in his arms, am I?" She asked with a wry tone to her voice that was unusual for her.

"…Eh?" Yamato stared at her, uncomprehending.

Shizuka just smiled at him. "I remember the words of the song." She said softly, then began to sing.

"_I wrapped up my invisible anxieties in you but your eyes are lost," _Shizuka had a beautiful, high voice which echoed softly as she sang,_"Your wavering confidence is different than usual, our bodies are trembling."_

_"Because I don't want that type of self, will you hold me in your arms?"_ Yamato stared as Shizuka smiled almost sadly at him, drawing the last note out softly,_ "It's too early to close your eyes, let's look at our reality."_

"_We're not helpless; we'll do the best with our courage." _Shizuka trailed off quietly, then raised her gaze to meet his eyes.

"Tell me, Yamato…who is that song for?"

"_You."_ Yamato wanted to say. But somehow, he couldn't bring himself to say it. He opened his mouth, but the single word wouldn't leave his lips.

Because somehow, the lyrics had struck him. They had just come to his mind when he wrote, almost as if they had been there for a long time. The music, he had composed it at the ocean, where he had met Shizuka, but the words…

"Yamato," Shizuka was speaking quietly, a soft smile on her lips. "I'm really grateful you let me listen to the song. It's a very beautiful song."

"I felt very cheered up by it, especially the chorus," Shizuka smiled at him gratefully, "It gave me confidence…courage."

"But, it isn't for me," Shizuka said it like she had known it all along, and perhaps she had. But was she right? Had he not written the song for her after all? "Who did you write it for, Yamato?"

"I don't know." Yamato mumbled. "I…wrote it for you."

"Did you write it for the same person whom you wrote Hitoriboochi no Seesaw for?" Shizuka asked quietly.

"I…" Yamato sighed, "Don't know."

Shizuka- Shizuka's situation, his meeting with Shizuka by the sea- they had all been the inspiration for his song. She had been his inspiration for his song. But somehow, she was convinced she was not the one he had written the song for.

Who had he written it for then, if not for her?

"It's alright if you don't want to tell me," Shizuka smiled at him reassuringly, "I just…" she inhaled, then looked up at him, "I can see you're confused, Yamato."

Before Yamato could ponder on the implication of her sentence, his phone rang.

"Excuse me." Sighing, he shot a hand into his pocket and pulled it out, answering it as he held it to his ear.

"Hello?"

"_**Yamato, we have a problem," **_Sora's voice was choked, _**"It's Taichi."**_

When was it not Taichi? "And?"

"_**He…the truth is, he's been having problems with his family,"**_ Sora said quietly, _**"They've been going through a tough stage. That's why he hasn't been coming to school."**_

"So?"

"_**So Taichi…he's been really withdrawn!"**_ Sora informed him, her voice panicked, _**"Whenever I go to see him, he's not like his usual self! He doesn't even smile at all!"**_

Taichi not smiling? Surely Sora was exaggerating, "And? What has this got to do with me?"

"_**Yamato, Taichi really needs you!"**_ Sora shouted into his ear. She was sobbing now, _**"He won't even talk to me- the only one he'll talk to is you!"  
><strong>_  
>"What makes you think he'll talk to me?"<p>

"_**Because he loves you!" **_Sora shouted at him, _**"He loves you, Yamato! Have you forgotten that?**_**!**_**"**_

"Sora, I believe you're overreacting-"

"_**I'm not! You haven't seen Taichi but I have!"**_ Sora choked, _**"He's like a shell- no, a carcass of his old self, Yamato! I…I really don't know what to do!"**_

"Hey, hey. Calm down Sora…"

"_**Please go and see Taichi, Yamato!"**_ Sora was pleading with him, and Yamato realized the pain in her voice was real, _**"Please! You still care about him right?**_**!**_**"**_

"Sora-"

"_**Please!"**_

Yamato stared. He listened, feeling guilty as he heard Sora's sobs. He sighed, knowing he was about to regret his decision. "Fine, fine, I understand."

"…_**Really?"**_

"Yeah, I'll go see him," Yamato said dryly. "Just not today, alright? I'll go see him tomorrow."

"_**Okay…"**_ Sora said softly. _**"Promise?"**_

Sora sounded so insecure- so insecure and unsure, so unlike her. So unlike the Sora he knew. Yamato's gaze softened. "Yeah, Sora." He said to her. "I promise."

"Don't cry, alright? It'll be fine."

"_**Alright…sorry."**_ Sora seemed to inhale, before she spoke, _**"Thank you, Yamato."**_

"No problem, Sora."

"_**Bye…"**_

"Bye."

"What happened?" Shizuka asked quietly when he put down the phone.

"Nothing," Yamato said. "My friend's just worried about our friend. He's been having trouble at home."

"Oh. Is he alright?" Shizuka asked, concerned.

Yamato shrugged. "He'll be fine."

"Okay then," Shizuka looked at him. She smiled, "I think you should go home." She told him, "You look tired, Yamato."

Did he? He was just annoyed- he'd been having a nice, peaceful time with Shizuka and Taichi had to disturb him once again. Well, Taichi's situation.

"Yamato-kun?"

"Yeah." Yamato said. "Yeah. Home. I should go home."

Shizuka moved towards him, worry in her clear sky blue eyes, "Are you alright, Yamato-kun?"

"I'm fine, Shizuka…" Yamato sighed. He smiled at her, then turned, walking away. "Well, see you…"

"Yamato!"

He blinked his blue eyes and turned around to face her. "Yeah?"

"I…" Shizuka began. He stared at her. Her sky blue eyes were hesitant, as if she wasn't sure she should say what she wanted to say. She seemed to make her decision, for she shook her head, and regarded him with melancholic sky blue eyes, a smile on her lips, "No…it's nothing…"

"Alright then…" Yamato said hesitantly. He turned again, "See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah…" Shizuka's voice echoed quietly behind him as he left the beach.

"See you tomorrow."

* * *

><p>"Yamato?"<p>

"Hm?"

"You're acting strange again."

"Hm."

"Why are you acting strange?"

"I am, aren't I."

"See, you agreed you're acting strange!" Gabumon pointed out.

"I did, didn't I."

Gabumon stared. "Yamato," he started, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Gabumon."

"Liar!" Gabumon said accusingly and he raised an eyebrow at his digimon, "It's about her, isn't it? Did something happen between you two?"

"Nothing happened." Yamato said as he stared at the ceiling. "It's not her."

"Then, what is it?"

Yamato frowned as he stared at the ceiling. "I told you, it's nothing."

"Then why aren't you sleeping?" Gabumon questioned anxiously. "Why are the lights on? It's getting late, Yamato."

"I don't know." Yamato shrugged. "You can turn off the lights if you want."

"That's not what this is about!" Yamato blinked as Gabumon pounced onto the bed, staring at him, "Something's bothering you, Yamato!"

"Really?"

"Yamato!"

Yamato sighed. "I just can't get to sleep." He relented.

"Why?"

"How would I know?" Yamato asked crossly. "Don't you think if I knew I would be asleep by now?"

"Yamato," he blinked as Gabumon thrust a paw in front of him. "How many fingers- I mean, claws am I holding up?"

"Three?"

"What about now?" Another paw shot out.

"Six, obviously."

Gabumon blinked, then frowned. Yamato blinked as his digimon reached out a hand to feel his forehead. "Hm…You don't have a fever."

"I'm fine." Yamato said, slight annoyance in his voice as he pushed Gabumon's paw away. "Just shut up and go to sleep."

"I won't sleep until you sleep!" Gabumon countered determinedly.

Yamato scowled. "Fine!" He said grumpily and turned away from Gabumon, throwing the covers over himself. "I'll sleep, okay? Now leave me alone!"

"…See, you are acting weird!"

"I'm not!"

"You are!"

Yamato's scowl deepened. Damn it, this was so childish! He gritted his teeth, and forced his eyes shut, "Tch. Goodnight, Gabumon!"

"Hmph!" Gabumon shot back at him and he resisted the urge to shoot a glower back.

"Goodnight, weird Yamato!"


	6. The Shock

This was it. He was going to see him. He was going to see Taichi.

Yamato hesitated as he stood in front of Taichi's house. He really didn't want to go in. This place was like somewhere unknown to him. He hadn't stepped into this house for so long. But…

He remembered his promise to Sora. And it was getting late. If he wanted to have time to see Shizuka, he would have to get this over and done with.

Yamato bit his lip. He let out a sigh. Perhaps this was why he couldn't get to sleep yesterday. He still felt tired…

Suppressing a yawn, the blond reached up to ring the doorbell. Damn, he was so tired…

The door soon opened, and a feminine voice called out in surprise, "Yamato?"

"Hey Hikari." Yamato smiled up at Taichi's little sister, "Is Taichi in?"

Hikari nodded hesitantly. She stepped aside to let Yamato in. "Yeah." She said softly.

Yamato walked almost cautiously into the house, "Is he busy?"

"I'm not sure." Hikari said uncertainly, and Yamato remembered she had been affected too.

He looked around. The living room was empty save for him and Hikari. Neither Taichi's and Hikari's father nor mother was there.

"Are you alright?" He asked his friend in concern.

Hikari bit her lip. She looked lost, small, and when she looked up, there were tears shining in her eyes. Yamato was reminded of his little brother- of Takeru, of how he had been in the past. "I'll be fine." She said softly.

"Hey…" Yamato murmured as a tear rolled down her cheek. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, "Don't cry…Hikari."

"I'm fine." Hikari choked. She lowered her head, wiping her eyes quickly, "You should go see my brother."

"Alright." Yamato replied. He hesitated, before removing his hand from her shoulder, "I'll be back."

Hikari just nodded, her hand still covering her eyes. Yamato looked at her sadly, then turned, walking towards Taichi's room.

What had happened to the Yagami family? What had happened to Hikari? She wasn't the smiling girl he knew. Sora hadn't been exaggerating- their family really was in shambles. And if Hikari was in this state, what kind of state would Taichi be in?

_"He doesn't even smile at all!" _Sora's words echoed in his mind and Yamato bit his lip. He stopped in front of the door to Taichi's room, looking at it with conflicted eyes.

What was he doing? He should be going in. He should be going in checking on Taichi- checking up on his friend. But he hadn't seen Taichi for so long- what would seeing him be like?

There was music coming from Taichi's room, permeating through the door. It wasn't any of his songs- it was an instrumental, something smooth, flowing. Yamato blinked. He reached out his hand slowly towards the doorknob, turned it, and opened the door.

The sight that greeted him was one he didn't expect. He saw Taichi, standing on the floor, his eyes closed, a violin positioned between his neck and shoulder, his hand holding the bow which he drew almost harshly across the strings, his fingers of his other hand moving up and down the strings.

Yamato's mouth fell open. He stared.

Suddenly, Taichi paused. The sad and haunting music came to an abrupt stop as he opened his eyes, turning them in his direction. "Oh." He said in a stoic voice. "It's you."

"Yeah." Yamato said slowly as he stared. "It's me."

"What do you want?"

"I…" Yamato started as he stared at Taichi, stared at those narrowed brown eyes looking at him with no emotion.

Taichi looked at him, then looked away. "If you have nothing to say then leave." He said bluntly.

Yamato watched as he went back to playing his violin, his fingers plucking at the strings almost roughly. "I didn't know you played the violin." He murmured softly.

"Why would I tell you?" When had Taichi's hearing gotten so good? "You wouldn't have cared."

"I would!" Yamato stepped forward, staring at Taichi who wasn't even looking at him, "Taichi-"

"It's Yagami to you, Ishida."

What the hell? "What the hell is wrong with you?" Yamato found his temper quickly rising, "You haven't even been talking to Sora!"

"Don't' bring Sora into this!" Taichi shot a glare at him and Yamato was almost taken aback. His violin screeched a high, unpleasant note, causing Yamato to wince.

"Taichi-"

"Just shut up, Ishida," Taichi scoffed at him, and turned away. "Get out of my sight."

"Taichi!" Hikari had come into the room. She stared at her brother, "How can you talk to Yamato like that?_!_"

"Why can't I?"

"Isn't Yamato your best friend_!_?" Hikari shouted incredulously, "Isn't he the one you lov-"

"Shut up!" Taichi barked, his violin causing another discordant sound which resounded throughout the empty house. "Just shut up, Hikari!"

Hikari glared at him. Yamato stared as she turned to him, a fierce light in her eyes, "You want to know why my brother plays the violin, Yamato?" She shot a glower at Taichi, who gave her a dark glare in return. "It's because he's using it as a method to cope. When we were small and he was feeling _lonely_, he used to retreat to his room and play the violin-"

"Shut up, Hikari!"

"-Our parents bought it for him so he wouldn't bother them. If he wasn't playing the violin, he would be off sitting alone at that see-saw-"

"I SAID SHUT UP, DIDN'T I?_!_" Taichi bellowed, stomping forward, rage in his impossibly narrowed brown eyes. "Stay out of this! It's none of your fucking business!"

"IT IS!" Hikari yelled back at him, tears in her eyes, "You told me you would protect me! And now you're pushing me away!_?_"

"What happened to you, Taichi?" Hikari was crying now, her voice choked, "What happened to my big brother whom I know and love? Do you think you're the only one affected? You used to care about me so much! You used to care about Yamato so much and now you won't even tell him you-"

"Yamato, Yamato, it's always about Yamato!" Taichi shouted, frustration in his voice and Yamato's eyes widened, "Why should I care about him when he doesn't even care about me?_!_"

"That's…not true," Yamato said shakily, raising his gaze to Taichi's furious brown eyes, "I do care about you Taichi-"

"Oh really?" Taichi sneered at him. He smirked, "Nice time to care, Ishida. Too bad I don't care about you anymore."

"…What?"

"I said I don't care about you anymore." Taichi repeated impatiently. "I don't love you anymore." He scoffed disbelievingly. "I don't know why everyone keeps on saying I do."

"Taichi!"

"What? It's the truth." Taichi snorted at Hikari, then turned his narrowed gaze, raising an eyebrow at Yamato's stunned, wide blue eyes. "I don't care about him anymore."

"In fact," Taichi smirked at his silence, raising his other eyebrow, his brown eyes mocking.

"I think I may just hate him."

What…was this pain? Why was he feeling this pain? Taichi hated him. Taichi…hated him.

Yamato felt a burning sensation in his eyes, as Hikari turned to him, worry in her eyes, "Don't listen to my brother, Yamato!" She shouted angrily, "He's just trying to deny his true feelings 'cause he's too much of a coward!"

"Whatever, Hikari," Taichi rolled his eyes. He shrugged. "Think whatever you like. I don't care."

He raised his sharp gaze, "I hate you, Ishida Yamato." He said, staring straight at Yamato's tearful blue eyes. Taichi smirked, "That enough for you? Can you leave now? I don't even want to see your face."

"But that's fine isn't it? After all, you didn't even want to see mine."

Leave…he should leave. That was right. He should leave, because Taichi didn't even want to see him. Why the hell was he still standing there?

"Hurry up." Taichi sounded impatient. "Do I have to push you out of my room?"

"Big brother!"

"Be quiet, Hikari."

"No…it's fine…" Yamato managed, "I'll leave."

"Yamato…" Hikari stared at him, and his vision of her was clouded by a mist. She glared at Taichi, who raised an eyebrow, then turned her attention back to him, placing a hand on his arm, "Alright, I'll show you out…"

"It's fine." Yamato said again, inhaling, "I don't want to trouble you."

Hikari's eyes widened, "Y-Yamato…"

"I'm still waiting." Taichi said mockingly, and those were the words that made him turn, shrug off Hikari's hand and stride heavily out of Taichi's room to the door.


	7. The People

He started running when he was on the streets, far away from the Yagami residence. He didn't stop running until he was at the beach, the one place he could seek solace.

Yamato sprinted down the sand, and finally came to a sudden halt at the shore. He stared through the mist out into the cold sea, and then collapsed onto his knees, falling onto the sand and wrapping his arms around himself as he trembled and shook.

Taichi hated him. Taichi hated him. The thought couldn't seem to leave his mind, looping and looping until he was chanting it like a mantra, "_Taichi hates me. Taichi hates me."_

_"Taichi…hates me." _

Yamato choked, and the tears came then. The mist dissolved completely, and it was not the mist of the cold winter wind but the mist of his tears. He sobbed, shaking and shivering in the coldness of the beach.

He didn't know why he was crying. Because Taichi hated him? Because Taichi didn't love him anymore? He didn't think he still loved Taichi. Hadn't he not seen him for so long? So why the hell was he crying?

Alone. He was alone at the beach once again. Alone on the shore. He was alone, sobbing his heart out for a reason he didn't even know. Why was he crying? Because it hurt. Because he was hurt. It hurt so much, so fucking much. And he didn't know what else he could do except cry. He didn't think he wanted to do anything else except cry.

At least he wasn't crying in front of Taichi. Yamato remembered the first time he had cried in front of Taichi. Taichi had just stared at him, as if seeing him for the first time. Then the snowy cliff had given away below them and he would have fallen to his death had Taichi not caught his hand. He could have died then, in that cold, wintery place. But Taichi had told him he would never let go of his hand even if they ended up dying. And Yamato still wasn't sure if it was those words which had made him fall in love. But what did that matter now?

The last time he had cried in front of Taichi- Taichi had wrapped his arms around him and said he was sorry. But just now, Taichi hadn't said he was sorry. Taichi had said he hated him. That he didn't want to see him ever again.

He didn't have Taichi now. He was alone. Taichi wasn't there with him, to comfort him with his words from his kind and honest heart. Why would he, anyway? If Taichi had been there at the wintery beach with him, Yamato would bet he would just scoff and laugh at him and call him a cry-baby. _"Cry-baby Ishida."_ He would say in that cruel, mocking voice.

Because Taichi hated him.

"He hates me." The words came out choked from his parched throat. "Taichi hates me."

"He hates me…" Yamato sobbed, burying his face in his knees. "Why…?"

He knew. He knew of course. Why wouldn't Taichi hate him? Like Taichi had said, he hadn't even wanted to see his face. He had been purposely avoiding him. He was the one who had been acting like a coward. He had gruffly replied to Taichi's calls, not giving him any chance to make any further conversation. He had given Taichi the notion that _he_ hated him. So maybe that was why Taichi hated him now. Because he thought Yamato hated him.

But…he didn't hate Taichi. He didn't. But what use was that? Taichi hated him now. Taichi…didn't love him anymore. He had said so himself.

_"I hate you, Ishida Yamato."_

"He really hates me…" Yamato swallowed. He squeezed his eyes shut, "T-Taichi…"

There was the sound of footsteps. "So it wasn't girl trouble," he heard a smug, familiar voice say, "It was _boy_ trouble."

Yamato gasped, and looked up, immediately wishing he hadn't. _"Oh fuck no. Not now. Why now?"_

He stared at the old man, then swiftly wiped the back of his hand across his eyes. "W-What do you want?"

"Oh nothing," the old surfer said, raising an eyebrow. "Just wondering why you were crying."

"I'm not crying." Yamato said gruffly.

"_He hates me…" _the old surfer said. He made a choked noise, smirking, _"He really hates me…"_

"So, who's the bad boy who broke your heart, boy?"

"Shut up." Yamato muttered. "No one broke my heart."

"Really."

"Ah, aren't you the boy who bought shaved ice in the middle of winter?!" He heard a new voice enter the scene.

Yamato bit his lip, and nodded at the owner of the shaved ice store. At least, he thought he was nodding at him.

"Why are you covering your eyes, boy?" The old man asked curiously, "Something got into them?"

"He's crying." The surfer said, his voice bored. "He just doesn't want to admit it."

"Crying?!" The owner of the shaved ice store exclaimed, "Why?!"

"'Cause someone broke his heart."

"Oh." The old man- the kinder old man sounded concerned, "Well, do you want to talk about it?"

He didn't want to talk at all. He just wanted to cry, so why couldn't they leave him alone? He wanted to be alone. Because if he couldn't be with Taichi, he would rather be alone.

Yamato let out a choked sob. He really should stop thinking about Taichi. But he couldn't. The stupid brunet wouldn't leave his mind. Idiot. Taichi was an idiot. _"Why the hell am I crying over an idiot?"_

"H-Hey…" the shaved ice store owner said hesitantly as Yamato sobbed helplessly, "Are you alright?" He looked over to his companion.

"Eh, not my problem." The old surfer said, grimacing. "I have no idea how to comfort a crying kid."

The owner of the shaved ice stand sighed. He shot his friend a quick glower, then made his way to Yamato's side, patting his shoulder. "Hey, it's okay…"

Yamato sobbed softly as he felt a comforting arm around his shoulder. It was embarrassing crying in front of strangers-people he barely knew, but he couldn't be bothered to give a damn about his pride at the moment. He hugged his knees to his chest, curling up as he tried desperately to sob all the pain in his heart out.

It didn't work. It didn't work at all. Why the hell was it not working? Wasn't crying supposed to make you feel better? He didn't feel better at all. In fact, he felt worse because his mind still refused to let him stop thinking of Taichi so he would stop crying already.

So he just stayed there, crying on the beach with the comforting arm which probably belonged to the owner of the shaved ice stand around his shoulder, the cold winter wind not helping his throat at all. Even the old surfer was silent as he sobbed. Or was he even there? Maybe he had gone away.

"Well," he heard the old surfer's scratchy voice. So he hadn't gone away after all. He cleared his throat. "There's someone else on this beach during winter."

"A girl."

A girl- Shizuka. He was supposed to meet Shizuka at the beach today. And now she had come to the beach. She was at the beach, whereas he was in no state to face her right now. The last thing he wanted was for her to see him cry.

Yamato prayed that she wouldn't notice him, that the old surfer and the owner of the shaved ice stand were blocking her view of him. He tried to keep his sobs quiet, but almost choked, coughing.

"There, there." The shaved ice store owner patted his back as he lifted his head and gasped, trying to get back his breath. "Relax or you'll choke."

_"I am already choking."_ Yamato thought in frustration as he coughed harshly, inhaling quick breaths of air.

"Eh…Yamato-kun?!" Oh fuck. Yamato coughed as Shizuka ran over to him, crouching down and putting a hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright?!"

"F-Fine…" Yamato coughed one final time, then exhaled.

"I was wondering where you were," Shizuka sounded like she was smiling, "I thought you were busy today, Yamato."

"Yeah…"

"Eh? Is something the matter?" Shizuka seemed to have noticed his disorderly state. She peered over at his face, before her sky blue eyes widened, "Yamato, a-are you crying?"

Shit. "Crying?" He smiled through his tears, "I'm not. It's just…the…snow. The melted snow." Wonderful excuse, Ishida. Brilliant, really.

Oh God, she had seen him crying. He was never going to live this down. His cool image was ruined. She wouldn't look at him the same way ever again.

But Shizuka just looked at him with sad eyes and reached out a gentle hand to wipe the tears away from his cheeks. Her fingers were soft and warm, as warm as the warmness in her eyes. "Don't cry, Yamato."

He wished she hadn't said those words. He really wished she hadn't said those words, because somehow they brought more tears to his eyes and he was soon choking up again. He saw through a blurry mist Shizuka's clear sky blue eyes softening, before she pulled the back of his head towards her, and he found his face buried in the warmth of her coat. And he cursed the warmness of her coat for it only made him sob all the more.

"Well, how pathetic," he heard the old surfer's taunting voice, "Crying and having a girl comfort you."

"Shut…up…"

He felt Shizuka's arm protectively around him, "Please don't say that," her voice was firm. "He is really hurt."

"And, crying is not a sign of weakness." Shizuka's next words were almost dry, "Have you never cried before?"

The old man didn't reply, and Yamato guessed he had shut up. He gave a weak smirk into Shizuka's shoulder. Who knew she could be so…blunt? It was almost, cool.

* * *

><p><em>Why didn't I fall for her? She's understanding, caring and kind. Her eyes are beautiful, as beautiful as her heart. I should have been in love with her instead of Taichi. Maybe, if I had met her earlier, I would have been.<em>

_Taichi…I once thought part of the reason why I fell in love with him was because he's always bright and smiling, and his smiles made me smile too. But it isn't, is it? It can't be. It's not like it's the first time Taichi rejected me. I was still in love with him then._

_But it's the first time Taichi said he hated me._

_I feel more tears spring up in my eyes, and Shizuka holds me close. I cry, silently this time._

_Shizuka – she wouldn't have hurt me like this. Why the hell are you not in love with her, Ishida? Or Sora? You dated her, didn't you? You liked her once. Sora's a nice and kind person and even if we didn't interact that much in the Digital World, I've known her for almost as long as I've known Taichi. Why did you have to fall for Yagami Taichi– the only one who has enough of you to break your heart?_

_…See Ishida? You're thinking of yourself again, aren't you? You're really such a selfish person._

_You haven't changed at all._

_But because you're such a selfish person, because it hurts you, you don't give a damn._

_And your heart. Your fucking stupid heart. Weren't you supposed to be a loner? A lone wolf? How did the hell did you get it broken? You want to tear it out, don't you? Rip it to shreds and throw those painful pieces away into that ocean over there, that ocean just behind you._

_It'd be great if you could, wouldn't it? Your heart would be gone, those pieces would sink in the deep blue ocean and be lost forever._

_You wouldn't have a heart anymore._

_No one would be able to hurt you anymore. Even when you want to give away your heart (like you so idiotically did), you wouldn't be able to because you wouldn't have a heart anymore._

_…And then maybe, just maybe, the pain will finally stop._

_…Why the hell did I open up my heart? Why the hell did I open my heart to Taichi? What was it about him that made me want to open my heart to him, to trust him?_

_Or maybe I didn't open up my heart. Maybe Taichi opened it up without me knowing._

_Bastard._

_Because I've always had this barrier- this barrier of ice I've built around my heart since my parents' divorce. It was to prevent myself from being hurt anymore, because I didn't want to be hurt anymore. If anyone was stupid enough to attempt to reach out to my heart, or even to hurt me, they would just be damaging the barrier. That wall of ice._

_They wouldn't reach this heart of mine._

_But then Taichi came along. And he was…so warm, wasn't he? So damn warm. It made me angry, because I had never met anyone so warm. I had never experienced such warmth. It made me angry, and it made me afraid. If I were to be honest to myself, I was fucking terrified. He affected me like no one else could. So I made the barrier stronger, fought with him to anger him, so he would leave me alone._

_But he didn't. Instead, he came closer. He came closer and closer, and I allowed him to. Somehow, I trusted him._

_But I was also fearful. I didn't know what he was doing to me, I didn't know what I was feeling. I didn't want to believe it was love._

_And then before I knew it, he melted my ice, melted me with his warmth and his stupid kindness. Taichi…he's always been straightforwardly kind, he didn't look down on me, he didn't isolate me, he treated me as an equal. His kindness, almost hurt. The melting of the ice hurt._

_It hurt when my defenses of years crumbled, even though he didn't know._

_But then, when the wall of ice melted for the first time in years, and left my heart open to him, he didn't melt my heart. He didn't break my heart. He warmed my heart. He made me feel a kind of warmth I've never experienced before. A kind of warmth not even Takeru has made me feel._

_And I guess that's why it hurts so much now. It hurt, when he first came into my heart. When he first invaded my privacy in that clumsy way of his. But his kindness warmed my heart._

_But now, I don't even have his kindness anymore. I don't have that kindness of his which made me want to love again._

_After so many years of not hurting, of having Taichi by my side._

_And now, those years are gone._

_Taichi's gone._

_And I'm hurt again._

_Because I'm alone again._

* * *

><p>Why hadn't he fallen for her? He should have. For if he had he wouldn't be crying now. Wouldn't be crying because of Taichi.<p>

Shizuka was understanding, caring and kind. She had beautiful eyes and a beautiful heart. He should have been in love with her. Not with Taichi. For clearly it wasn't just Taichi's usual cheerful nature that had caused Yamato to fall in love with him. If it was, he wouldn't be so damn hurt by Taichi's cold words.

Shizuka wouldn't turn around and hurt him like this. He really should have been in love with her. Or Sora, even. He had liked her once, even thought he loved her. She was nice and kind and he had known her for almost as long as he had known Taichi. Neither Sora nor Shizuka would cause him to feel this much hurt.

There he was, thinking of himself again. But it hurt- it still hurt, and right now, he didn't give a damn.

Curse his stupid heart. This was why he had been a loner. He wished he could take his heart out and rip it to shreds, and throw those broken pieces away into the ocean, where they would sink and be lost for eternity. Then maybe the pain would stop.

Why the hell had he opened up his heart? Why the hell had he opened up his heart to Taichi? Or had he not- and Taichi had just melted the ice cold barrier he'd built around it? Melted the wall of ice he'd built over his years of being alone to protect himself from being hurt again, with his kindness and warmth? Taichi had always been straightforwardly kind, and it had almost hurt.

Maybe that was why it hurt so much now. For now, he didn't even have Taichi's kindness. After so many years of not hurting.

God, he wasn't even sure what he was thinking anymore.

"Yamato-kun…" He heard Shizuka whisper.

Shizuka. That was right. Shizuka. He was troubling Shizuka with his emotions. He had never wanted her to see this side of him. This insecure side he had managed to bury away for so long.

Yamato sniffed, then forced himself to inhale. Slowly, he drew away from Shizuka and the warmth of her coat. "Sorry…"

"It's alright…" Shizuka said as he stared into her soft sky blue eyes. "Do you want to talk?"

He didn't want to. He didn't want Shizuka to know how pathetic he was, crying over someone who didn't love him anymore. But he was tired of keeping everything to himself, bottling everything inside his heart. Look what that had done to him.

He nodded hesitantly, and Shizuka said, "Who hurt you, Yamato-kun?"

_"Taichi._" He wanted to say. "_A guy. Not a girl like you think."_

"Where should I start?"

"From the beginning?" Shizuka prompted.

He could. But where was that anyway? When had it all started?

The Digiworld of course. But that was too far back. Then he realized Shizuka meant where had his problems started.

Yamato sighed. He rested his chin on his knees, staring out into the far sea, "I'm in love with a guy." He started hesitantly.

"I know." Shizuka said. Her voice turned concerned. "What did he do to you?"

But Yamato was staring at her with disbelieving eyes. "You know?"

"Uhuh." Shizuka's smile was almost mischievous. "I…guessed." She admitted sheepishly.

Yamato stared at her, as that scratchy voice said smugly. "I knew it. It was boy trouble after all."

Yamato shot a glare at the smirking old man, "Just go away already," he grumbled. "Aren't you disturbed?"

The old surfer just shrugged at him, "It's not as if I'm gay."

The answer was so simple Yamato found himself rendered speechless. He wanted to say something back; what about all those Japanese traditions of family and filial piety? What about carrying on the family tradition? Wasn't he going against society with his sexuality?

"I'm bisexual." He managed.

The old man just shrugged again. "Same thing."

Yamato stared, until Shizuka said, "So what happened, Yamato-kun?"

He turned his attention back to her, when she was giving him that comforting smile. "We had an argument." He said. "He-Taichi and I were talking about our relationship. He wanted to keep it under wraps. I didn't mind, but when he said we could pretend to be interested in girls," he sighed, "I just, got angry. I had a girlfriend you see, and I broke up with her because I didn't love her."

"He made me angrier when he said to keep it a secret from his family," Yamato said, looking off into the distance, "Our close friend, Sora, who was my girlfriend and Taichi's childhood friend knew. Taichi's sister, Hikari, figured it out by herself. But Taichi's parents; they didn't know."

"What about your parents?" Shizuka asked softly.

"My father is always busy, I hardly see him," Yamato said brusquely. "He and my mother are divorced. My little brother stays with her."

"Oh…" Shizuka bit her lip, placing an apologetic hand on Yamato's knee. "I'm sorry, Yamato-kun…"

"It's fine." Yamato said. He sighed, "To tell the truth, I'm not sure if my father will accept. He still doesn't know."

"But, when Taichi said that, I felt…hurt," Yamato confessed softly. "I felt as if I were an embarrassment to him, as if he was embarrassed by our relationship."

"That's why I got angry. I felt that Taichi was being an insensitive jerk. That's why I avoided him. I started to come down to the beach to clear my thoughts about him," Yamato murmured, "Meeting you, Shizuka…it made me forget about my own problem for a while."

Shizuka smiled at him, her clear blue eyes shining with relief, "I'm glad to have been able to help, Yamato-kun."

"It's Yamato, remember?" Yamato smiled back at her, feeling his heart lift up a little, "Thank you, Shizuka."

"You're welcome Yamato-kun, ah, no, Yamato," Shizuka smiled shyly at him, "Actually, I should be thanking you…"

"You already did." Yamato reassured her, and she grinned slightly at him.

"I did, didn't I?"

Yamato smiled as Shizuka giggled. He turned his gaze back to the ocean, exhaling, "Do you want me to continue?"

"Of course." Shizuka replied, smiling at him, "I would really like to help you with your problem, Yamato."

"You don't have to help me, Shizuka," he said softly to her. He smiled, shaking his head. "Anyway, during the course of our time together, Taichi tried to contact me. I mostly ignored him, or didn't give him a chance to talk when he called me. I was still…angry."

"Then you called me about your operation. I was really worried then, and I didn't know what to do. Taichi was the last thing on my mind." Yamato sighed, "But, I found a solution, as you know. And after that, well, I got that call from Sora…"

"Which was…yesterday, right?"

"Yeah. She was really worried about Taichi, she was crying," Yamato bit his lip. "So I promised her I would see him today."

"It turned out…that Taichi's been having problems with his family. When I went to see him, he wasn't at all the Taichi I knew…" Yamato clenched his fist, gazing at the shore with somber blue eyes, "We…got into another argument. Hikari, Taichi's little sister, came in and shouted at Taichi. He yelled back at her, even though he's been nothing but protective of her."

"That sounds…terrible." Shizuka whispered.

Yamato nodded. "I'm not sure what happened after that." He confessed quietly. "Next thing I knew, Hikari was turning to me and telling me about Taichi's past. Taichi got furious and told her to shut up. Hikari…she was crying. She shouted back at Taichi, and I guess…it eventually got to the point where Taichi said he didn't care about me anymore."

"Hikari told me he was lying. That…he didn't want to face his true feelings," Yamato felt tears prick in his eyes. "But, he called me Ishida. He's never called me by my family name before. And then, he said he hated me. That he didn't love me anymore."

"Yamato…" he heard Shizuka's sympathetic voice. "It's okay to cry."

Yamato shook his head, "It's my fault," he said. "I've been ignoring Taichi for so long. I didn't even know he was having problems with his family. I guess…I gave him the impression that I hated him," he laughed dryly, blinking furiously, "So that's why he hates me now."

"I don't even know why I was crying…I thought, that I didn't love him anymore."

"You must still love him then," Shizuka said with a soft, melancholic smile. "You're a kind person, Yamato…your love for someone wouldn't fade away that easily."

"Maybe you're right." Yamato murmured, raising his gaze towards her. "But, I've been nothing but selfish, really. I only cared about myself- I didn't care about Taichi at all."

"I'm sure Taichi-san will understand," Shizuka said reassuringly, "He's just going through a tough time."

"I know you're a kind person, Yamato-kun."

"Thanks, Shizuka. But, I don't know…" Yamato bit his lip, as he lowered his chin further into his knees. A tear slipped down his cheek as he wrapped his arms around his huddled form. "I just…feel so lost now. I don't know what to do. Taichi; I don't think he…loves me anymore."

"Boy, you're such a drama queen."

Yamato twitched. _"Why the hell is he still here?"_ He turned and glared at the old surfer, "What did you say?"

The surfer smirked at him, raising his eyebrows. "So what if he doesn't love you anymore?" He jerked his head towards the ocean, "There are plenty of other fish in the sea."

"Besides, according to this pretty girl here, you're a kind person," he shrugged his shoulders as Yamato stared at him in surprise. "If he's treating you so badly maybe he doesn't deserve you."

"Haven't you ever thought about that?"

_"But…I love him."_ Yamato thought, as another voice spoke.

"Hey Musashi, I don't think you understand," the shaved ice store owner said, looking at Yamato. His eyes held experience, and Yamato was reminded of the story about his wife and child. "It's not easy to let go of someone you love."

"You've always been in love with the sea, and it's always been there," he raised an eyebrow at the old surfer, "What if the sea goes away one day? How would you feel?"

Musashi scoffed, "It wouldn't go away."

"But what if it did? What if this beach was closed down one day? You wouldn't be able to see the sea anymore."

"…I'd just go to another beach."

"But it wouldn't be the same."

Musashi was silent then, before he sighed, "Fine." He said. "You win, Hiroshi."

"Boy," Yamato raised a slender eyebrow, "If you love him what are you still doing sitting there? Aren't you a man? Men don't sit around moping about how their love is gone. They go and," he jerked a thumb, smirking, "Get them back."

"It's not as if I can get him back." Yamato mumbled, averting his gaze. He sniffed, blinking back the tears in his eyes. "He doesn't love me anymore…"

Musashi seemed to be rolling his eyes, "You keep on saying that and he'll never love you again."

"Musashi!"

"What? I'm just telling the truth."

Hiroshi glowered at Musashi, who shrugged his shoulders. He exhaled, then turned to Yamato. "Yamato-kun, is it?"

Yamato nodded, and the man whom he had bought shaved ice from in winter smiled at him, "It'll be fine, Yamato-kun. I'm sure he still cares about you." He said. "Like your friend said, he probably still needs time."

Shizuka gave him a genuine smile, then focused her sky blue gaze on Yamato, "That's right Yamato-kun; I mean, Yamato!" She seemed to smile sheepishly at her return of habit, "Like this kind old man said, Taichi-san will forgive you," she said reassuringly, "I'm sure he doesn't really hate you! You'll soon be back together again."

"Really?"

"Uhuh! So…" Shizuka smiled at him, meeting his red-rimmed ocean blue eyes, "Don't cry anymore, okay?"

"Alright…" he felt embarrassed to have broken down in front of Shizuka, but it soon faded away at her kind smile, "Thanks Shizuka…"

_"I'm sorry. So…please don't cry anymore, Yamato."_

"Yamato?"

"It's nothing, I was just thinking…" Yamato said, shaking his head. He sighed, and stood up, "Then, I guess I'll be heading back. I have school tomorrow." Though he didn't feel like going to school at all.

"Alright," Shizuka smiled at him, tilting her head. She brushed away the brown locks of hair which had been blown by the wind away from her face, "See you, Yamato."

"Yeah. See you tomorrow, Shizuka." He said and she smiled at him.

He began to walk away, before he blinked when he remembered something. Yamato turned, regarding the old surfer and the owner of the shaved ice store with appreciative ocean blue eyes. "Um…thanks." He said with a hesitant smile. "For your advice. I really appreciate it."

Musashi blinked. "Even me?"

"Even you." Yamato gave him a wry smile. He inhaled, then bowed deeply to them, "Thank you, Hiroshi-san, Musashi-san."

"You're welcome, Yamato-kun." Hiroshi told him, smiling. "We were glad to help, weren't we, Musashi?"

"…Whatever." Hiroshi just smiled as Musashi looked away, "Take care, boy. Don't let him break your heart again."

Yamato smiled. Perhaps the old guy wasn't so bad after all. "Yeah."

"Bye Yamato-kun." Shizuka waved as he walked away.

Yamato blinked. He felt as if he was forgetting something. He turned and stared at Shizuka for a while, who was smiling at him, then he remembered.

"Ah, I almost forgot," Shizuka blinked as Yamato advanced towards her. He stopped, slid a hand into his pocket and brought out a ticket. "Here."

"Eh?"

"It's…a ticket for my band's upcoming concert. I thought I'd give it to you before I forget," Yamato flushed slightly. He cleared his throat, then smiled at her. "I'll be singing the song I wrote for you, so…I kind of want you to be there."

"Oh…but isn't this really expensive?" Shizuka asked hesitantly as she received the ticket with careful fingers. "Are you sure I can have it?"

"Of course! You're my friend, aren't you, Shizuka?" Yamato smiled at her, "It's for you."

"Ah, is that so…" Shizuka said. She smiled shyly, "Thank you…Yamato."

"No problem." Yamato smiled back at her, then turned.

"He's a really nice boy," Hiroshi commented with a smile as Yamato walked up the beach. "You don't find teenagers like him often. I wouldn't mind having him as a grandson."

"I guess."

"You're fond of him too, aren't you Musashi?"

Musashi just shrugged. Hiroshi shook his head, and turned to Shizuka, who was staring after Yamato, "You should go back too." He told her kindly. "It's getting late."

Shizuka blinked at him. Then she smiled, "Yeah I should," she said. She bowed, "Um, thank you for helping Yamato-kun, Hiroshi-san."

"No problem," Hiroshi replied, smiling, "He bought shaved ice from me and ate it during winter. He really made me feel touched."

"That does sound like Yamato-kun," Shizuka smiled fondly. She bowed towards Musashi, "Thank you too, Musashi-san."

"…Tch."

"Oh don't mind him, he's always like this," Hiroshi told her, waving his hand in an off-hand gesture. He turned to his friend, gesturing. "Come on, Musashi. We should leave."

He made his way up the beach, Musashi following him, glancing behind.

"Don't stay too late, girl."

"Alright." Shizuka smiled and the old surfer looked back to the front.

* * *

><p>Shizuka waited until they were halfway up the beach before she cleared her throat.<p>

"Gabumon, you can come out now."

Red eyes blinked. Gabumon peeked out from behind the fishing boat, and saw Shizuka looking at him. He winced slightly, before making his hesitant way towards her. "You knew I was here?"

"I heard you." Shizuka said, smiling at the digimon. "I haven't been able to see clearly until recently, so I'm sensitive to sounds."

"Oh." Gabumon said. He sighed, "Yamato didn't notice me."

"He was too distressed," Shizuka said softly, bending down so she was at Gabumon's height. "You heard everything, didn't you?"

"Yeah…" Gabumon bit his lip. "I was secretly following Yamato. He was acting weird when he came back yesterday, but he wouldn't tell me what was wrong. I was worried about him."

"When I saw him cry, it almost made me cry too. I wanted so badly to comfort him. It broke my heart." Gabumon sniffed, wiping away a stray tear from his eye. "I wanted to do something to help ease Yamato's pain."

"But then those two people came…" Shizuka looked at him sympathetically, and he continued, "I…haven't seen Yamato cry since way back then…" Gabumon's red eyes softened at the memory. "I didn't know that he and Taichi…"

"Yamato knew Taichi-san since they were young?"

"Uhuh. Back when they were kids," Gabumon nodded. He seemed to contemplate. "Thinking back…Yamato; I guess he liked Taichi then, they were close from the beginning. But I didn't know they got together after Yamato broke up with Sora."

"Oh." Shizuka said. She bit her lip, staring at the ticket to the Teenage Wolves concert in her hand.

"Shizuka?"

Shizuka sighed. "Hey, Gabumon?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you know where Taichi-san lives?"

"Eh?" Gabumon blinked at him. Shizuka looked at him with a searching gaze and he nodded hesitantly. "Yeah…why?"

Shizuka smiled. She clutched the ticket Yamato had given her tightly in her hand, her sky blue eyes filled with something Gabumon hadn't seen in them before; resolution.

"Would you mind taking me there?"


End file.
